Married boyfriend still having sex with other women

April 14, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am a 35-year-old woman and I have a son. His father and I are separated. I am dating another man, who is married. He and his wife are separated also. I love this man and I thinks he loves me too, but I believe he still loves his wife. He still watches the videos that they made together and looks at their pictures. I know that it is his wife's idea to get a divorce, because she does not love him. My problem is that I know about the wife, but he did not tell me about all the other females he is dating. I know at least three of them that he sends money to. They would send naked pictures to his phone and when he gets the chance, he will visit them for sex. We have sex every day. The only time we don't have sex is when I am seeing my period. I have been faithful to him, in spite of his behaviour, because I would love to spend the rest of my life with him. I don't trust him, because we had sex in the night and in the morning, and he still left to go and have sex with a girl he had not seen for a while. To make it worse, he came back and had sex with me the same day as if nothing happened. If he can do that when I am at his house, then I am worried about when I am not there. I know single men who will do anything to be with me because they know I am a faithful woman. At one point I was developing feelings for one of them, but I had to block him from getting in touch with me. Please tell me what I can do about this relationship.


Dear N.W.,

This man must be very strong to be having sex with you every day and at the same time having sex with other women. You say you and this man have sex every day and he still has time to have sex with other women. May I ask how old he is? He has a serious problem. He is a sex addict, and he may not know it but he needs professional help. You say his girlfriends send their pictures of their private parts to him. He gets his kicks out of seeing these pictures. Evidently, he is paying them for these pictures, because he sends money to these women. So he needs professional help; but I must hasten to say to you that you also need professional help. I say that because you have declared in your letter to me that you would love to spend the rest of your life with this man. How could you want to spend the rest of your life with him? Aren't you afraid that this man will give you a sexually transmitted infection, including AIDS?

What is it about this man that is causing you to be so crazy about him? I cannot encourage you to continue in this relationship. You are only 35 years old. You are going to ruin your life, and your future, if you continue to be with this man. Leave him right away.


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