My boyfriend does crazy things during sex

May 03, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am a 20-year-old female and I have a boyfriend. He is the second boyfriend I have had, but I am becoming afraid of him. He has a very good job and he is always giving me money.

He likes to buy me nice things and he like to see me in pants. I just have to open my mouth and say I need a new pair of shoes and he will give me the money to buy it. Sometimes he will give me money to give my parents.

My father is not in good health and my boyfriend helps to fill his prescription. I can't explain how good this man is to me. We are not living together, but most of the weekends I am at his place. I don't fully understand where he works.


When I first met him and I asked him where he worked, he only said he was in security. I asked him another time and he said,1 "I told you that I am in security". He said that I can't live with him because I have to be left alone at nights and that would not be safe for me. As I said, I am getting really scared of him. Many times when we are making love, he gets very excited and he does crazy things. He would beat me, slap me very hard and choke me as if he wanted to kill me.

I never had that experience until I met this man. I asked him why he has to choke me, he cannot give me an answer. Whenever he does that I feel like I am going to die. But after that he is so sweet. I am worried about that. I don't know what to do and I don't want to tell anybody about it. I am hoping you will tell me what to do.


Dear C.,

This is a man you cannot trust. He is a wonderful provider and you feel loved by him, but his actions cause you to be afraid of him. He behaves like a beast when he is making love to you and you cannot tell when he may cross the line and choke you to death.

As I see it, it is too risky to continue to be in a relationship with this man. Some men like to slap their women playfully, but that is not what you were taking about. This man must be aware that by choking you, you will not be able to breathe and all the fun of making love will disappear.

You should tell him that you are scared that he will take your life and you have to move on. All the money he gives you should not cause you to remain with him. Your life is more important than what he is able to give to you. I also want to say that you shouldn't be having a relationship with a man and you do not know what exactly he does and where he works.

If he loves you, you have the right to know more about him than he is willing to tell you. If he continues to be secretive about the work he does, that is another reason why you should end the relationship. He might not be doing anything that is legal and one day you might find yourself arrested because of your association with him. Don't spend anymore weekends with him. Stay at your parent's yard and please let me hear from you again.


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