Dad leaving my sisters out of his will

May 04, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I am 26 years old and I am the only male for my parents. I have nine siblings. Of the 10 of us, only four children are for the same mother and father. My father have the others outside the marriage.

He told me I should not make the same mistake he made by having so many children. He told me my mother almost left him because my mother caught him having sex with her best friend, and all she did was to stand up at the door until he was finished. Her best friend never came back to the house.

He said when her best friend was leaving, my mother asked him whether he wanted to go with her, and a few days later, my mother called her best friend and told her that she is a Christian and as a Christian, she cannot hold any ill-feelings against her, so she has forgiven her.

My father has made a will and told me and the contents. His parents died leaving him acres of land and he is willing that to me. He suggested that I try to subdivide the land and I can either sell it or put apartments on it.

I have a girlfriend. She is studying law and my father loves her very much. He told her that she should stick with me. Pastor, I think my father should will some of the land to my sisters also, but he believes that the husbands of my sisters should take care of them, and I should take care of my mother and my wife.

I get along well with my sisters and I don't want them to believe that I am getting everything from my father and they are left out. Although my father has a lot of women, he did not waste his money on them. He has a very good bank account and my mother is very happy with him. Sometimes I am sorry that my father told me what is in the Will. Should I tell my father to change the Will or to let it remain as it is now?

ST

Dear ST,

Some people contend that it is not wise for one's parents to divulge what is in a will. I am not saying it is totally wrong to do so, but it is not a wise thing to do because a parent is at liberty to change his or her Will at any time, and when one says what is in a Will, the beneficiary may feel that it is in that Will forever. This is not necessarily so, because the Will can be changed even at any moment before the person dies. I know this can create great diversion in families.

Whatever decisions your father has made should be honoured. However, I do not believe that it is right for a man not to bequeath any properties to his daughters because they will have their husband, and their husband should be able to take care of them. Sons are no more important than the daughters, that is my opinion; but not all man see women as equal to men.

Perhaps you should persuade your father to subdivide the land and give each of your sisters an equal share.

Pastor

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