Threesome idea killing our relationship

Dear Pastor,

I am living with my boyfriend. We are in our early 30s. He used to live with another woman but they broke up. He said that she cheated on him with his best friend.

He and his best friend work at the same place. His best friend denied that he was having an affair with his woman, but she and my boyfriend decided to end their relationship. Since we are together we split the bills; he pays half the rent and I pay half. He gets paid every week and he gives me a certain amount to buy groceries, and I put the rest. He told me that he wants to get married and settle down, but I am losing confidence in him because he is always fantasising about engaging in a threesome. I asked him if he has ever done it and he said no, but his friends told him that it can be very enjoyable. I told him I am not interested in that and he said that he is not asking me to do that. I asked him why was he always mentioning it and he told me that he wanted to know how I feel about it.

Pastor, I don't trust this man when it comes to that. I know his former girlfriend, and I told him that I am going to get her number and call her to find out the truth about why they broke up. I have had boyfriends before and all these guys have one thing in common - they tell lots of lies. I have always wanted a man who would tell me the truth, but they all lie. The only good thing about this one is that he helps me pay every bill.

He said that he will marry me but I would have to get pregnant first.

M.

Dear M.,

I do appreciate that you are intelligent enough to know that this man is not telling the truth about his fantasy. Yes, he is fantasising, but what he is really trying to do is introduce a threesome to you in a roun dabout manner. He is endeavouring to get you to consent to engage in a threesome, so don't believe him when he says he is not asking you to do so. He is a liar.

You see, most men think that they are smart but what they don't realise is that when it comes to relationships, women are likely to outsmart them in every way. Men lie and don't remember what they say. Women lie just as much, but th ey seem to remember what they say.

If you are going to have sex with this man and you don't want to get pregnant, you should make sure that you protect yourself. I can only wish you well, but please don't embarrass yourself by calling his former girlfriend and asking her for the true reason why this man and herself broke up. She might insult you. Leave that alone.

Pastor