Brother doesn’t think I should remarry

Dear Pastor,

I am living in the USA. I got married twice and the marriages failed. I do not have children with my second wife but I have two children with my first wife. They are all grown.

When I divorced my first wife, she told me she was going to give me hell. I had to give her most of the things I had in that house. She almost got the house but I had a very good lawyer.

I got married again although my family told me I shouldn't get married to my second wife. My second wife pretended that she loved me but what she loved was my wallet. She has children but we do not have any together. She stays in the house and watches TV all day. She only ate fast food and she got fatter every day. Then she started to go bowling with her friends every weekend. She had no time for me and she and her ex-husband got back into a relationship and she could not deny it. So I divorced her. Now Pastor, I am 65 but I am still strong enough to have a woman and I met one. She lives in New York but she wants to move to Florida, where I am, and for us to get married. It is time for me to turn my life over to Christ. She is 50. I am living with my brother who is 68. He told me that I shouldn't bother to get married, that I should let the woman come and spend time with me and go back home. She came a few weeks ago and it was so hard for me to see her go. I don't know what to do. She is anxious to come back. I have an apartment but I rented it out to help me pay the mortgage. If I get married, I would have to move out from where I am living. So I am confused. How do you see my situation?

C.L.

Dear C.L.,

You know why you feel that you should get married again; however, so far women that you marry have not got along well with you. Perhaps you were in too much of a hurry to get married. You have pretty well wrecked your life in getting married to these women, and now this present woman is pressuring you to get married to set up house with you in Florida. Your brother does not believe that you should get married again and you probably should not ignore his advice. What I would suggest that you do is that you and this woman should meet with a professional marriage counsellor for sessions. You will not find out everything about her because she is not going to tell you everything, but you will have a pretty good idea of where you are going and what decision to make. You will have to find money from somewhere to pay your mortgage because to remarry, you will have to decide to leave where you are and it will cost you more. Are you receiving a pension? Are you getting social security? Do you have health insurance? And what about the woman? She is 50 years old. She will have to give up her job in New York, so what will she do in Florida? There are a lot of things to think about so don't ignore the suggestion from your brother. I wish you well.

Pastor