Parents don’t approve of my boyfriend

August 05, 2021

Dear Pastor,

I never thought the day would come that I would be writing to you. I am a daily reader of your column and I appreciate the work you are doing for everyone out there.

I am 20 years old and I am in a relationship with my boyfriend of six months. This is my first relationship but I am having a problem. You see, my parents know that I have been talking to this guy but they don't really approve of him because of what they heard about him. But when I asked my boyfriend about what they said, he told me the whole story and I believe him. Our sixth-month anniversary is coming up in a few weeks and my boyfriend has been asking me to sleep over at his house. I have been there before but that was just to look for him. I want to tell my parents about how far my relationship with him has gone but I am afraid because I know the reaction I might get and it will not be a good one. I started working when I was 17 years old. I saved some money but the pandemic started and I had to use most of it and I am still living with my parents. I love my boyfriend, I really do. I know he loves me too, and I always try to help him and support him in every way. My parents want to know everything I do and everywhere I go. Sometimes when I think about it, it makes me cry and I feel depressed. It makes me feel like I do not have any freedom. I can't go anywhere by myself without them knowing. I have never done anything for them not to trust me. I really hope you can give me some advice on what to do.


Dear S.,

For a 20-year-old woman you are very naive. Your so-called boyfriend has got you to the place where you believe everything he says. You should be happy to have parents who are concerned about you. They might be a little over protective but they know you well and they recognise that this man is wrapping you around his finger, so to speak. They don't want to see you get hurt and, if you don't listen to reason and use common sense, you are going to get hurt. This talk about celebrating a relationship that is six months old is nonsense. Why would you agree to go and sleep over at his house to celebrate a six-month relationship? That is stupidity. This man wants you to sleep over because he wants to ravish you with sex and, when he is finished with you, you will be pregnant. You are fortunate to be employed. You should stop spending your money on this young man. You are going to be sorry if you don't pull back from this young man and stay at home. I am sure that your parents are not against you going out; what they are concerned about is the type of person you are dating. I am afraid I cannot put a stamp of approval on this relationship. I believe you are on the wrong road. I would like to know what type of work this young man does. He does not seem to be employed and you should know that you are not to be spending your money on him. Yes, what I am trying to say is that you are to leave this young man. Break up this relationship and do so now.


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