Something must be WRONG with me

January 18, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am a 40-year-old businessman, and I have a problem. I was never married, but I was in a committed relationship. My woman was foreign-minded. When I suggested that we should get married, she was not interested because her people are living abroad.

She left for America six years ago, and was hoping that I would change my mind, sell my business, and move there to live with her. I do not like living in America. I have visited her there, but nowhere is better than Jamaica. Plus, my business is doing well.

This woman found a man in America and got married. She told me what she was doing and I did not stop her. She said that she does not love the man, but I told her to try and love him because I don't want her back in my life and in my home.

I have a girlfriend. She is younger than the woman I have loved for years. She doesn't have any children. She is trying her best to take good care of me. She is not educated. Her English is poor, but she is humble. Her parents appreciate me. I have even started to go to church since I met this girl. She has asked me if I would allow her to go to America on vacation, I told her that I will not tie her down. I mean it.

I do not have children. My former girlfriend and I never used protection and she has never got pregnant.

This girl and I never use the condom, and so it seems to me that I can't get anybody pregnant. The doctor said nothing was wrong with my former girlfriend. This girl would love to get pregnant.

Do you think that something could be wrong with me? Sometimes I wonder why would a young girl, who is just 21 years old, stay with me and I am not eager to have children. She does not work in my company. I buy everything for the house and give her $10,000 per week for herself. I told her to save some of it and to help her parents. What do you suggest that I do?


Dear G.H.,

This woman with whom you lived wanted to live in the USA. She finally went there and found another man. You know you haven't done her any wrong.

From the tone of your letter, you became involved with this young girl after the woman with whom you live in Jamaica decided she will not return to you. When people are going together, very early in the relation they should discuss certain matters, such as where they want to live, how many children they wish to have, and their finances.

You visited this lady in the US and you realised that you did not want to live in America, so that was the end of the relationship. Now you have this young woman who is half your age. You love her dearly. Both of you seem to be committed to each other. I hope you will take care of her.

Remember that this young girl will not be submissive to you all the time. If you are going to marry her, make sure that both of you go for premarital counselling before you take the plunge.

I cannot tell you whether you are incapable of impregnating a woman. I would suggest that you go to see an urologist, who would advise you; and your lady should go and see a gynaecologist.


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