In danger of losing one of my boyfriends

June 02, 2022

Dear Pastor,

It is a pleasure writing to you. I read your column every day and I also save them up. I would like to become a counsellor like you. I am 19 years old and I have two boyfriends.

I love one of them very much. He is 20 years old. He gives me whatever I want. I am living with my parents and they are poor. My father is a small farmer. He has three of us with my mother and three 'outside'. My parents do not know that I have two boyfriends. My mother knows of the one who helps me because he works with a telecommunications company. I have the best phone in my class. He is a handsome guy. He doesn't like when I talk to other guys and I don't like him talking up to my friends because these girls nowadays, you can't trust them. All they talk to me about is how big his thing looks in his pants.


My other boyfriend is still at home. He gives me money now and then, but it is not much. But I still take it because I say I don't know what my boyfriend will do. I am heading for college. My boyfriend lives by himself, so sometimes I go there on a Sunday and I help him to cook. He is so sweet. But every time I go there, I have to be prepared to make love to him before he takes me home. We always use the condom. The other guy and I have never had sex. The guy who gives me whatever I want is the man who took my virginity and I hope to marry him.

I have strong sexual feelings for him. I am not promiscuous but I have skipped school a couple of times on his days off to be with him. Do you think I am a bad girl?


Dear Z.,

You should not skip school to spend time with your boyfriend and he should not have encouraged you to do so either. You should have one boyfriend.

It is not wise for you to have more than one if you feel that you must have a man in your life. Girls can be very nasty in saying things that are not very good about men. The first thing that they look at is the front of a man and they can talk about whether this man is big enough to satisfy them.

Spend time on your schoolwork. You have an aim to become a professional, so focus on that.


Other Tell Me Pastor Stories