Mom trying to turn my boyfriend against me

June 29, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am a 30-year-old woman and I have three children, all of them for one man, and I am proud of that. My mother never liked me, but my sister does.

She has three children also, but for two different men, and one of them is married. Because he is in a position to help my mother, she allows him to come to the house, and even spend nights there. My mother is a Sabbath keeper and when I tell her that it is wrong, she curses me and tells me that I should mind my own business.

I do not know my real father. I grew up knowing my stepfather, but when I was 13, he 'put question' to me and I told my mother about it; she said I was lying. But when the same sister that she likes told her that he put questions to her, too, she asked him about it and he told her that her daughters were liars. She told my sister and I that she would have to see him on top of us before she believed us.

I went to live with one of my aunts, but her husband was not better. He always spied on me when I was in the bathroom. We had an outside bathroom and the door could not close properly, so he would pass and look in. My mother can't tell me his real name. My aunt told me that she knew him as 'Russell', but that's all she knows.

When I got pregnant with my first child, my aunt told me that I had to leave. My babyfather didn't have anywhere to put me. He was just pushing a cart on the road selling small items. I had to run from him with my child, because we had an argument and he tore off my clothes and beat me. But he and I made up and I went back to live with him, and got two more children for him. I did not report him to the police because I was afraid of him. All the men in my life beat me and curse me. But now I have found a man who likes me.

I am now a Christian. This guy met my mother and she did not have anything good to tell him about me. He told her he doesn't want to hear how bad I was. He will prove it for himself because the Bible says old things are passed away when one becomes a Christian. How can I be such a bad person and I don't run around?

I am trying to live a Christian life now. My sister is still at home with my mother and the married man.


Dear A.L.,

Your mother did not set a good example for you or your sister. I believe that she hates you. Perhaps your father did not treat her right and maybe you resemble him. So when she looks at you, you remind her of him. What a shame that your mother did not stand up for your sister and you when you told her that your stepfather approached you for sex. She told you that he would never do that. She put him ahead of you all.

When it comes to men, you have been very unfortunate, but you have finally met one who loves you. Your mother should keep her mouth shut, because she has not been a saint. She played around, and she does not even know the name of your father. So it is not kind of her to speak bad things about you to this man, who is in love with you. I hope both of you will get married very soon.


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