My wife ridicules me for pleasuring myself

July 06, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am in my early 40s and my wife is in her middle 40s. We are both Christians. I am Pentecostal, but my wife goes to another church. She does not support anything in my church.

My wife doesn't think that I am a Christian. I got her pregnant before we were married, and then I lied and said I was not the one who got her pregnant. I did so because my wife was friendly with the pastor's son and they were planning to get married.

The pastor's son said the child was not his and to protect my wife, I lied. She supported me in telling the lies. I have been encouraging my wife to go to counselling with me. We are always fighting. Even to make love to my wife is a fight. And then she says, "You are not a Christian." My wife saw me pleasuring myself and she ridiculed me and said that as a Christian, I should not be doing these things, and I should get over masturbating myself by fasting.

Pastor, I do not know what to do, that is why I am writing you for your advice.


Dear W.,

You didn't say a whole lot in your letter, but you recognised the problems that your wife and yourself are having should be discussed with a counsellor. It is ridiculous for your wife to be ridiculing you when, before you were married, both of you decided to lie on the pastor's son. If your wife wants the marriage to work, both of you should call a family counsellor and make an appointment to see him or her.


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