Stepmom trying to steal my man

July 13, 2022

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 years old and I never thought that the day would come when I would have to write to you. I read your column all the time. The vendor always makes sure that I get a copy of THE STAR. Your column is educational and entertaining.

I grew up with my father and grandmother. My mother was unfaithful to my father. She always kept another man with him. When he found out he asked her to leave. I was about 10 years old when my mother left. She wanted to take me with her, but my father did not allow her. So she told him, "Stay there with your pickney."

My grandmother took good care of me, and my father was involved in my school life. He was active in the Parent-Teacher Association. On games day, my father was always there. When my grandmother became ill and couldn't do a lot, my father found a woman and she moved in with us. But that relationship did not last long.


I passed my exams, but did not go on to college. I got a job and I found myself liking a certain man. In the meantime, my father got another woman and we are all living together. I took this man to meet my father and stepmother. From the time my stepmother met this man, she fell in love with him and gave him her number.

This man is always talking about my stepmother and telling me that she is nice. My boyfriend is a big man. He is 50 years old, and when I believe he is at work, he is visiting my stepmother. Can you imagine that? She encouraged him to visit her. She doesn't have any children. She told my boyfriend that I am too young for him and that I am not mature. I know this for a fact, because he told me everything.

I threatened to tell my father, but he begged me not to do so. The more I think about it is the angrier I become, because this woman does not work, and my father gives her everything she wants. My father has suffered at the hands of another woman who have used him. My stepmother is encouraging my boyfriend to visit her when my father and I are at work.

I asked my boyfriend if he ever had sex with her and he told me no. He said that he could've done so if he wanted. I still don't know what to do. These days, I just say 'Hi' and pass her. She wants to know why I have suddenly changed, but I have not told her. I would like to hear from you first. I don't want to hurt my father in any way. My dad loves this woman very much. Please tell me what to do.


Dear J.,

I suggest that you tell your father what you have heard, but before you do, advise your boyfriend that you intend to tell your father that his woman is trying to have a relationship with him. Tell your father that she has your boyfriend cell number, and she has invited him to the house many times when she is there alone. If your boyfriend is speaking the truth, he should not try to prevent you from telling your dad.

Your boyfriend says that he has never gone to bed with your father's woman. He has visited the house on a number of occasions while she was there alone. He needs to be forthright about his reasons for going there. He knows you wouldn't be at the house. Why did he go? I hope he is telling you the truth. I hope he did not fall for your stepmother. You will be doing your father a great injustice if you did not tell him what your boyfriend told you. Your father needs to get out of this relationship immediately.


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