Stepson driving me crazy

January 27, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I hope you are doing well. I am trying to do well, but I am having some problems. I am 39 and married. My husband had a son before I met him and when we were getting married, he asked me if his son could live with us. I told him it was no problem. We have been married for 15 years.

The boy finished high school and went on to college. He started to smoke the weed and his father spoke to him about it. At first he denied it, but we could smell it on him. Then he got a girlfriend and he used to bring her to the house. We had no objection to that. But a couple of times he and my husband have got into arguments because he wanted to move in with his girlfriend and his father told him that would be a big disrespect. He sneaked her in a couple of nights and we found out. When my husband spoke to him about it, he told him some dirty words. I was shocked. A few days later, I tried to talk to him about his behaviour and he told me some longer bad words. We asked him to leave but he does not want to leave. He is putting badness to us.

This is a young man who I have done everything for. Now, he has told his father that he should not defend me because I have kept men with him and I have only pretended to him. He said he knew that I had men on the very avenue that we live. The boy is a liar. I asked my husband if he believed his son and he said he didn't have any reason to disbelieve him, so why would he lie like that? When he told me that I was sick for days. Imagine my husband would accept what his worthless son says about me. We can't keep anything in the refrigerator. He goes in and drinks whatever is there. I am a lover of corned beef and he takes it away. So I have to stop buying it. I don't know what to do. If he is going to stay in this house, I will leave because I do not trust this young man. I have two daughters. I don't trust him with them either. So please, I beg you, give me your advice.


Dear O.T.,

This man told his father and you that he was not leaving the house. He is a sick young man. He needs help. You said he came to live with you and everything was going well but he started to do drugs and that is where the big change came about. He lost respect for his father and you and he became very upset because he was denied the privilege of bringing in his woman. He needs to go out on his own and if he continues to refuse to leave, your husband should take the matter to court.

I knew a lady very well. She used to work at a prestigious high school. She had one child and he used to demand money from her almost every day. It came to the place where she became afraid of her son. She asked me for suggestions and I told her to throw him out of her house. She was shocked at my advice and said she could not put out her son as he had nowhere to go. I told her that if she did not throw him out, he would throw her out and that is exactly what happened. A few months went by and she had to run. The young man took over the place and threw her out. I was so sorry for her. I passed by this lovely residential area and saw the house in ruins. So I am telling you now that if you and your husband fail to put this young man out, both of you and your children will not be able to live in that house. Take the young man to court and the law will deal with the matter for you. Call me back and tell me how things are going.


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