Angry spouse threatened to kill my boyfriend

March 14, 2023

Dear Pastor,

I am 30 years old and I am having a relationship with a man who is 35 years old. We have been together for just over five years, but he had to stop coming to my community because he was having an affair with another man's woman and the man found out.

He threatened his girlfriend, and she got scared and admitted that she was having sex with my boyfriend. The man threatened my boyfriend and told him to leave her, otherwise he was going to 'deal with him'. I got scared and told him not to come around because a trap might be set for him. So he picks me up after work or he sends a taxi to pick me up, or we go out and spend time together. Sometimes I go home, and sometimes I don't after we have had time together.

He does not have anything to do with this man's girl any more; I know he is speaking the truth. I asked him what he saw in her that caused him to go with her. He told me that she likes to do freaky stuff. So I have started to do the same things that she did to him, except one thing.

Right now, I am pregnant, so I am planning to leave where I am residing and move in with this guy after we have found another neighbourhood. We have been searching, but the rent is too high. My baby is due in four months. I was not permanently employed, but my boss has now put me on staff. He is such a nice man. He says I should not worry, my job will be safe.

I hate to leave my mother. We live in the inner city, but as soon as we have settled down, I will need my mother's help. I have two brothers. They will remain with my mother. We all grew up in the neighbourhood and we do not trouble anybody, but I am nervous about my boyfriend.

Do you think I should report this man to the police?


Dear C.J.,

You should not be the one to report this man who has threatened your boyfriend. It is your boyfriend who should report him if he seriously believes that his life is in danger. Now that your boyfriend has stopped having an intimate relationship with this woman, the man probably would not even bother with him. I am not sure if I am right in saying so. But I believe every threat should be reported.

I hope that this man and you would be able to find a suitable place to live, and that you will have a safe delivery. You need your family around you, especially your mother, at this time.

I am glad that your job is safe. But I also hope that your boyfriend will settle down with you and not make himself a fool, and that he will not get involved with another man's woman.


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