Divorcing my husband because his penis is too big

Dear Pastor,

I am 32 and I have been married for three years. I met my husband in church and he appeared to be such a good man. I always wanted to marry a Christian.

Listening to him testify, I thought I had met a perfect man. When I met him, he told me that he had never gone to bed with a woman. I asked him how he managed to stay without a woman at his age, and he said he prayed and got the strength not to spoil himself. He did not believe in wasting his sperm by using the condom.

I confessed that I was not a virgin and had had a couple of guys in my life. He said he would forgive me for that. When I told one of my sisters that this man told me he had never been with a woman, she laughed and said she would not trust such a man. I cursed my sister and told her that it was because she was bad why she could not believe that a 30-year-old man had never had sex. I believed the man so much that in six months time we were married.

Our pastor asked us why we were in such a hurry and he told the pastor, "I don't want to lose her." My sister was my chief and his brother was the best man. We did not have a large wedding. We got married early in the day, so that we could drive to the north coast for our honeymoon.

When we got there I was ready for my husband, but I was so disappointed. When the man took off his clothes, he had the longest and the largest penis I have ever seen. Right away I knew I could not handle it. How was this man carrying his tool, and comfortable with it? He tried to assure me that nothing would be wrong. I realised he had never had sex because no woman in her right mind would want to have any dealing with him.

The man's penis was so big. He lay on the bed on his back and trust me, his penis almost touched the ceiling. He tried to force himself on me, but he couldn't enter me; he was just too large. When I made my fist, he was bigger than my fist. We spent three days at the hotel and nothing happened. Nothing has happened between us. He has gone down on me, but that is all he can do.

I promise him that I will not shame him by telling anyone about his penis size. So now, our marriage is about to end. Our pastor doesn't know why, and the only one in my family who suspects is my sister, who told me that I was crazy to marry this man without finding out whether he could satisfy me before getting married. My divorce is not yet final, but I have been seeing another man and we have gone all the way. I will never again take the chance with a man and not know about him sexually.

N.T.

Dear N.T.,

I can imagine how disappointed you were when you realised that your husband did not tell you the truth about himself. I will tell you a story that I hope will help you.

When I was in seminary, I met a Christian woman who was very active in a church my friend pastored. She told me that she met a man in the church and they fell in love. He wanted to marry her, and they agreed that they would not have sex until they were married. She said their pastor preached against premarital sex, so they understood that it was wrong.

The night after they got married, she prepared herself for her husband. He took a long time to get into the bedroom, but when he eventually came in and took off his clothes, he tried to enter her, but he couldn't. She had a similar experience like you. When she got off the bed and turned on the light and saw his penis size, she said, "What are you going to do with that?" The man had a massive penis and he could not have sex with her. That marriage was not consummated.

I hope that you will have a better marriage. Please let me know how this new man is treating you.

Pastor