Husband doesn’t like that I’ve lost weight

September 21, 2023

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you and your staff. I hope that you are coping with the weather. In my area, it is very hot, but I have to give thanks for the trees that are on my property. I have got accustomed to sitting under these trees and coping with the heat.

I am 40 and I am writing to you for your help. I am married and my husband is 45. We have been married for six years and I have never gone to another man during that time. Even when we were courting, I did not look at another man. I used to carry a lot of weight, but I have slimmed down and everybody tells me how beautiful I look. My doctor encouraged me to take off the weight. She said I would look younger and live longer.

My husband accused me of having another man with him and that is why I have taken off weight. When I was obese, I lost interest in sex, but I tried to have sex with my husband so that he would not complain. Now that I have taken off weight and I look very attractive, he complains that I am too aggressive. So I do not know what to do. I have changed my diet, and I feel so much better and look better. I would love for my husband to learn to appreciate me and stop complaining.

I had very large legs and a big bust, but now everything is just right. The girls at my office commend me and say that they wish that they could bring their weight down, too. I don't wish to gain any weight. I would just love my husband to understand that this is a new me and he should appreciate the way I look.

We went to see a counsellor and the counsellor asked my husband if he knew of me having another man with him. He told the counsellor no, but as his granny always says "It's never too late for a shower of rain." Whenever I complain about my husband's attitude towards me, he tells me that I am nagging him, and he wants to see me the way I used to be. So, I am asking you for your advice.


Dear C.K.,

You are a wise woman. You have listened to your doctor, who suggested that you should get rid of some of the excessive weight you are carrying.

You did just that. It means that you are a disciplined person, and you understood that it is not wise for a person, male or female, to be obese. Perhaps your doctor needs to have a talk with your husband. You have not taken off weight because you are having an affair with another man. You have done so because your own health is at risk. So now that you have taken off the weight, try to maintain your correct weight and ignore the accusations being made to you by your husband.

I repeat, ask him to accompany you to see your doctor, who I am sure would take time to talk to both of you together.


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