Deadbeat husband wants me to leave my job

Dear Pastor,

I am a 25-year-old woman and I do nursing. I enjoy my work. I have been taking care of an old man.

He is a bit miserable, but they pay me well. Since I have been in the US, I met and fell in love with the man I am taking care of. From the time I started to work with him, he told me how much he loves me and will do anything for me. But I was warned to be very careful, and not to become friendly with any of these men I am working with. I am his caregiver. This man is healthy and strong. He always wants me to hug him. I know how far to go with him.

Since I have been in the US, I met my husband, so I am now married. I told my husband how fresh this man I care for can be and he told me that I should leave the job. But I cannot afford to leave the job, because all this man does is chat about how nice I look, but he has never tried to assault me. My husband has been living off me. I have not got anything out of this marriage.

My marriage is not going anywhere and I believe I will have to divorce my husband. While I am away at work, this man is fooling around other women and even taking them to our house, and I am the one paying the rent.

Initial Withheld

Dear Writer,

My suggestion is that you do not leave your job. Some senior citizens admire caregivers and offer them lots of money. That is why some of their children don't trust caregivers. You know that you are not sexually involved with this man, so don't walk away from your job. You also know that your husband is behaving like a bum. The man is not working and he is taking other women to your house while you are working and paying all the bills.

It is not for me to tell you what to do, but you are old enough to make your own decision concerning the relationship that you are having with your husband. I repeat, don't give up your job. I shouldn't have to tell you to be careful not to get involved sexually with your employer. Do your job and go home.

Put your foot down. Tell your husband that if he does not seek a job, he should go because you do not intend to pay all the bills every month. That is all I have to say.

Pastor