Unrealistic expectations

November 24, 2015

We live in an era where everything is instant, even relationships. Nowadays, boy meets girl, they exchange numbers, chat on WhatsApp, stalk each other on Facebook, follow each other on Instagram and Twitter and eventually meet up for sex.

Basically skipping those long conversations usually spent getting to know each other. When they decide to commit to each other in a relationship, they come with certain expectations. But is it realistic to expect certain things from a mate without taking the time to get to know the mate first? Let's look at some of these expectations


• Conversation - Everything is already online so it almost seems redundant to talk about it with each other.

• Dinner cooked every evening - Many modern men still expect their partner to prepare their meals, especially dinner. This is a traditional role that was filled by women. However, with many women in the workplace, men find themselves cooking, or better yet ordering take out.

• Frequent sex - Even in this fast paced, busy world, people spend their days working, so sex sometimes can seem like a daunting task.

• Comfort - The support and catering that a lot of men saw in their mother is not present in their spouse and they crave that. She has her own challenges, and so his comfort may not be on her list of priorities.

• Commitment - Even though some men are busy trying to juggle several female companions, they still expect each of them to be completely faithful to him.

• Chivalry - Modern women have claimed independence, and yet they still expect men to be chivalrous - opening doors, etc.

• Pay for everything - Even though women are occupying managerial roles and making more money, they still want their man to pay the bill.

• Romance - Romantic comedies, love songs and erotic novels have all given women a blueprint of what the perfect man should be, so when she looks for a mate, this is the guideline she employs.




Ultimately, your expectations are influenced by various elements and some of them are indeed unrealistic. It is important to figure out who you are and what makes you happy before you put so much pressure on your perspective mate. Men and women are different and so are their desires. What matters is the formula that works for you. Stop putting the responsibility of your happiness in someone else's hands and work on it yourself. It is when you have achieved personal happiness that you will be able to share it with a partner. Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexylive or Facebook www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy.





Dear Dr Sexy,

Why do women fake it when they are having sex?

John, Mona

Dear John,

Women fake orgasms because they are trying not to hurt their partner's feelings. While I do not recommend it, I understand that she is thinking about your ego and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings. This is dishonest, but maybe she feels like if she tries to talk to you, you will not receive the discussion in a positive way. So you should initiate the conversation by asking her what she likes to do sexually.

Good luck,

Dr Sexy

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