Be careful what you post online

July 19, 2016
A high court judge in Trinidad recentlyruled that West Indies opening batsman Lendl Simmons must pay TT$150,000 to Therese Ho, in "revenge porn" case brought against him. The court found that Simmons breached confidentiality by leaking sexually explicit photographs of the account executive with whom he had an extra-marital affair.

There was a time when cell phones, the Internet and social media were not a part of daily life. There was only home phone. If you telephoned someone and they didn't answer, you just had to try calling again later.

Now with all the options technology has to offer email, instant messaging, video call, social media keeping in touch is so much easier. How does that affect dating and relationships?

Nowadays, as soon as you meet someone you like, and exchange numbers, you check out their social media page or Google their name to see what you can find out. You seek to find out who they are, who do they know, what they've been up to.

Information that you would usually have to ask the person is now available, literally at your fingertips.

So what are the rules when it comes to dating in the digital world?

1. You don't have to post anything about your relationship online. Your relationship is your business, not a requirement to share on social media. There are people who believe they have to share their happiness with the world. If you choose to do so, know trolls online will have something to say about it.

2. There is no such thing as privacy online. I always find it funny when people complain about Facebook changing their privacy settings. As long as information is online, you are not the only person with access. Once you share something, with even close friends and family, you can't stop them from sharing it with others as well.

3. When you post your business, you invite everyone who sees it to have a say. People feel brave online so they like to express their true feelings, which can be unkind, when they comment. So, if you can't handle what they have to say, don't post your business.

4. When you go searching, be prepared to find something you may not like. You should also know that everyone, basically, has a camera in their possession all day, every day. Sometimes there are images and videos that are less than flattering. When you search someone's past, it may not all be all good news.

5. Once you post it online, it's there forever. With the prevalence of sexting and amateur porn videos being shared between lovers online, remember you can't completely delete a file from the internet.

There are so many stories about some photo or video of someone in a compromising position that ends up being a problem for that person. Personally, I think we might get to a point where almost everyone has a nude image or video online, so it will not be such a big deal by then.

Remember that social media is a communication tool so decide how to use it, and what you want to share.


Dear Dr Sexy-Ann

I think I am gay, but how do I know for sure? I do not enjoy sex with my boyfriend. He does not turn me on at all. When we have sex I have to use lube. Even then, I never have an orgasm. I really like lesbian porn and only orgasm when I masturbate, but I've never actually been with another woman. Am I gay?

Anonymous, Portmore

Dear Anonymous

Your situation is not unique. There are women who experience a similar conflict. Sounds to me, based on the information you gave, that you are gay. Why don't you explore dating a woman to see how you feel?

Good luck,

Dr Sexy-Ann

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