When was the last time?

October 18, 2016

People tend to approach the beginning of a relationship with so much positivity and effort.

The moment they identify that they have a crush, every effort is made to spend every free minute with each other. They talk for hours about everything and nothing. They play silly games, try new things, and spend hours lying in each others' arms gazing at stars.

Yes, falling in love can be very pleasurable, and it's no accident why people refer to the beginning of a relationship as the "honeymoon period". But the real task of relationship starts after the couple becomes comfortable with each other and stops spending all that time together.

So if many of us were to examine our relationships and ask the question: When was the last time ... ? What would our answers be?

When was the last time you went on a date?

Yes, even though you have been together for a while, you should never stop dating. If you have a busy schedule, as most of us typically do, set a date. Put it in your appointment book and keep it. You need intimate time with each other, doing something that you both enjoy.

When was the last time you did something sexually adventurous?

For too many couples sex is something that happens in their bedrooms with the lights off a few times a month. However, when you just met, you had quickies at the back of clubs. While you may not want to repeat the quickie, you can update it. Try going for FLUNCH (lunch with sex on the side).

When was the last time you played like kids?

I know, we are so busy 'adulting' that we forget simple pleasures like rolling around and laughing out loud like children. Try playing a regular board game like Twister, for example, but do it naked. Just follow the rules of the game and let nature take its course, and have fun.

When was the last time you talked to each other about something other than the kids, the house, or work?

Remember when you had intellectually stimulating conversations? You argued about philosophy, politics, the economy, whatever? You would get so passionate that you eventually redirected that passion to the bedroom. Read a book together and discuss it. That way, you can get your intellectual juices flowing and it will make for great conversations.

When was the last time you went dancing?

Yes, I know not everyone can dance, but that's OK. This is a great time to learn how to dance together. Sign up for a class. Otherwise just get dressed up and go dancing. In addition to the fun you will have together, dancing is excellent foreplay so you will both be in the mood for some sexy fun after you return home.

It's no secret that relationships take work, but don't be so focused on the work that you forget the fun. You enjoyed each other when you just met. That does not have to stop, but you must maintain your connection. There is no automatic mode when it comes to relationships, so you have to always be participating. So call your partner, make a date, get dressed up, and go enjoy each other. Have fun and stay sexy!

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