Too many couples are ill-prepared for marriage
Over the past few weeks, my social media timelines have been populated with lots of blushing brides, handsome grooms, doting bridesmaids, supportive groomsmen, cute flower girls, and all the makings of beautiful weddings.
It's officially wedding season! I personally am not a fan of weddings, but I like the sentiment. I like that the ceremony brings families and friends together to celebrate the couple and wish them well in their marriage.
The main issue that I have with weddings is the importance that is placed on the planning and preparation for the ceremony that in my opinion, should really be directed at the preparation for the marriage.
Too many couples go into a marriage ill-prepared to deal with major issues that they will face as a couple. Granted, some couples will go and see a pastor for marriage counselling, but that is not what I am referring to when I talk about preparation.
While the pastor may be able to advise on spiritual issues since that his/her area of expertise, a couple needs more assistance to help them navigate their future together. In addition to the pastor, I believe a couple should also see some other professionals to work out some issues and create a plan for their lives together.
Since money is one of the top two reasons many marriages end, it is clear that it's an issue that must be addressed before the couple gets married. When it comes to money, most people talk about the assets, but they don't think about the debt that they will inherit once they sign the documents. The couple should meet with a finance professional and work out how they intend to handle their finances as a unit.
Sex is the second of the top two reasons that marriages end - and with reason. Sex is the physical expression of your feelings for each other, so, contrary to what some people believe, it's important. Talking about sexual desires and expectations is essential to the overall happiness of a couple. For this they should see a sexologist or a sex therapist so that they can really figure out how to express themselves sexually.
Both individuals should visit their medical professionals together and conduct all the relevant tests that will indicate their medical status before they get married. This is especially important for many reasons. It can show ability to procreate and informs the couple about any pre-existing conditions like diabetes or heart disease. I know the vow says 'in sickness or in health', so it makes sense to know what you're looking at before getting married.
Conflict resolution and stress management
Couples will have arguments in relationships, but sometimes they can get out of control. When a couple is in love and everyone is happy, they often don't have any plans for how they will deal with conflicts when they come up. Stress is also a reality of life and we all experience it. So as a couple, you can speak to a life or relationship coach to help you come up with a stress management and conflict resolution plan. Unfortunately, this is an area that is ignored by too many couples until they are in the midst of an epic argument or their stress level is out of control and it's too late.
Ultimately, planning all the details of the wedding is important and couples should get the wedding that they want with all the frills. I would also recommend that they put some of that effort into making sure that they get the marriage they want. Marriage can be a beautiful experience, and sharing one's life with someone can bring much joy. However, it takes effort, and some things are avoidable if they are dealt with before they become problems. So, enjoy wedding season, and I wish all the couples a marriage full of fun, laughs, great conversations, and multiple orgasms.