Honesty isn't always best
There are many adages that we learn as children; one of the most popular ones is 'honesty is the best policy'. But is it?
While it is important to be truthful, and there are actual laws against lying especially under oath, but how honest do we really need to be in our lives?
Relationships are very complex and many individuals can appreciate the importance of being open to one's partner. But how honest do we really need to be to each other in relationships? There are certain questions that answering them honestly may cause more harm than good in your relationship, and it really puts this famous adage to the test.
As a matter of fact, some questions may be better answered with limited details. Here are a few examples:
How many sexual partners have you ever had?
This is a very tricky question especially since there is no right answer for it. No matter the number, it is usually understated. Furthermore, what's the relevance of this question? How will it help the relationship to know how many sexual partners your partner had in the past? Most people are definitely not completely honest when they answer this question.
Why do you find me attractive?
This question is normally asked at a time when the individual is not feeling very self-confident and it may be better to be kind than honest. At this moment, your partner wants to feel validated, so applying some empathy will be my advice. Even if the honest answer is negative.
What are your expectations in this relationship?
Usually when this question is asked, partners are trying to make a good impression and they really don't state the unreasonable or selfish things that they really want out of the relationship. They try to sound open, accommodating and even considerate. When the truth is that they want their needs to be met first and will not compromise on that.
Now that you have met her, what do you think of my mother?
Making a good impression on a future mother-in-law is not always successful. Sometimes these meetings can become a source of conflict for the couple. So many times, the first impression is negative but individuals try to cover their displeasure to spare their partner's feelings.
What is your wildest fantasy?
This may seem like a fun question to ask, but the answer to it may can be very scary. So if the fantasy is too weird, or just plain illegal, an individual may choose to keep it to themselves. It can even cause your lover to look at you differently if it is disclosed, so being completely honest may not be the best idea.
Obviously, honesty is important in relationships, but there are certain things that we have to take on a case-by-case basis. Maybe being completely honest in a specific moment can be hurtful, so it's important to know your partner. At the very least, you should be able to talk to each other and work out the kinks. Have fun and stay sexy.