Let's try it this way

November 07, 2017

At the beginning of a new relationship, a couple of spends serious time together trying to get to know each other. Working out what they have in common is a big part of that exercise.  Most couples will ask questions like:  What’s your favourite colour? What do you do for fun? What do you like to eat?

While these questions are very important, not enough time is sent trying to figure out their sexual compatibility.  Couples should be asking each other questions like: What is your sexuality?  What are you into?  Do you like it when ...?  

A couple of whose sexual communication is not up to par is an unhappy couple of.  Like it or not, the health of a couple’s sex life is a great indicator of the overall intimacy and closeness that the couple of enjoys. So if one partner, for example, has a higher libido, and wants to have sexual contact up to twice a day, and their partner is not interested in having sex at all, this can lead to outcomes that negatively affect the relationship.  This can include sexual frustration, infidelity, resentment, and even an end to the relationship. 

Contrary to some opinions, sexual compatibility is important to the overall quality of relationships.

How can you become more sexually compatible?

*Communicate: Typically, when a woman is dissatisfied with her partner, rather than communicating directly to the source of her dissatisfaction, she runs to her friends and complain about the performance.  This is not only counterproductive, it does not solve the problem of not being satisfied.  She should instead speak directly to her partner.  Talking about desires and expectations is vital to survival of the couples’ sexual relationship. 

* Try something new:  We are not the same people sexually, as we get older, we develop interest in things that may not have interested us in the past.

* Watch porn together.  This exercise works because it’s a great way to see what your partner is into and even get suggestions on how to execute.

* See a professional: A sexologist or relationship coach can help you get started and find common ground.

At the end of the day, sexual compatibility is something you should actively figure out as a couple of early in your relationship.  Waiting until you are serious and ready to commit together is too late.  Knowing each other on a sexual level takes effort and there is no such thing as an automatic button, so invest the time and make it work.  Have fun and stay sexy. 

Send your questions or comments to  sexychatwithshelly@gmail.com or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook  www.facebook.com/allaboutthesexy Website www.drsexyann.com

Other Commentary Stories