Get in the mood together

January 16, 2018

I recently had an encounter with a woman who is having problems in her marriage. She tells me that she and her husband are not communicating sexually the way they want to.

She explains that he always wants to get intimate when she is not in the mood.

I wanted to find out what her husband had to say, so I invited the couple in for a session.

After speaking to him, it turns out that her husband feels like his wife does not find him desirable.

He said every time he tries to initiate intimacy, she rejects him, and when she does indulge him, she makes him feel like she's doing him a favour.

Generally, the way sex is seen is that it's something that men need and that women should facilitate whenever he needs it.

Personally, I think looking at sex as something just men need is a major part of the problem with how couples related to each other.

The fact, is sex is a need that we all have as humans just like the need to eat, sleep and breathe.




Part of the issue with the way women express themselves sexually is that some of the rules in society influence women to suppress their sexuality. This is a big reason why there is so much division with how men and women see sex.

Unlike women, men are encouraged to explore their sexuality.

So with all the obstacles that men and women face sexually, here are some things they can do to ensure that they are both in the mood for some sexy time.

- Talk about your preferences.

It's simple; you cannot get what you want if you don't ask for it. It's not enough to just expect your partner to know what you want, say it.

- Be open to being seduced.

- Schedule alone time.

Turn off the devices and just spend some time reconnecting with each other.

- Be deliberate with romance.

Most people believe that romance should be spontaneous and magical. This is true but not always possible, so sometimes you have to plan it.

- Step outside your comfort zone.

Try something different and keep an open mind.

Navigating your sexual relationship should be deliberate. As a couple, you can figure out how to work around the barriers that can get in the way of romance.

Seduction is also something that requires action, so do the work. Don't be afraid to employ tools, like books, toys and videos; make it your own and enjoy every minute of it. Have fun and stay sexy.

Send your questions or comments to or Tweet me @drsexyann or Facebook Website

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