Can you be too honest?

March 27, 2018

As children, we were taught that honesty is the best policy, no matter what.

Plus, we were constantly punished if our parents found out that we were being dishonest, no matter how small the lie was. Of course, our feelings about honesty change as we grow up.

As adults, we learn how to be more flexible with honesty - omitting certain details, only answering questions asked, only giving the minimum information required, even just plain lying in certain circumstances to spare someone's feelings.

As I get older, I realise that honesty can be very subjective and that the amount of information that is shared is certainly varied based on the circumstance.

In intimate relationships, how honest are we supposed to be with our partners? Is there an argument to be made for protecting your partner by being less than honest with them?

What's the breaking point when it comes to honesty? What's the best way to treat honesty in your relationship? Is it possible to be too honest?




While I believe that there is some merit to being completely honest with your partner at all times, I have had to question the importance of being considerate over being hurtful.

Let me explain. What if your partner is better off not knowing something, and, chances are, they would never find out? Would you still tell them, knowing that the information would only be hurtful and would not uplift your partner in any way? Or is honesty worth the consequence, no matter what the truth is?

A part of the challenge that some people have with being honest is that some of us simply can't handle the truth and enjoy the bliss of ignorance.

For example, would you still be with your partner if you knew absolutely everything about him or her? Do you think that finding out some secret would bring you closer as a couple, or tear you apart?

In today's fast-paced, technology-driven world, the ultimate test of honesty is the surprise exchanging of your unlocked phone with your partner with full access to all communication.

Do you think that your relationship would survive that simple test?

It's important for me to end my thoughts on honesty by restating that I think that honesty is a good thing. I still am, however, cautious about complete honesty, especially under certain circumstances and with certain people.

Ultimately, you have to gauge the situation and decide for yourself how much honesty you need. So, be honest, can you handle the whole truth?

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