I want to change but I don't trust women!


April 23, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of THE STAR and your programme in the nights does not miss me. I don't know how you come up with these topics but they are real.

I live with a woman, we have one child together but I have three other children with three different women. I want to change but I don't trust women.

My first child's mother kept another man with me. The man used to sleep in my house, on my bed, when I was at work. One night I came home and was trying to open my door. It was bolted from inside. I called my woman and she took a long time to come. When I went into the house, the man's shoe was in the living room. He was hiding behind the bedroom door. When I asked him what he was doing there, he said, "Boss, I did not know that she had a man." He said he just came by to give her money and was tired so he decided to spend a little time. He showed me $20,000 and said that was what he came to give her. Twenty thousand dollars, Pastor. Why would a man give my woman $20,000 and I give her money every two weeks?

She was sitting on the bed only in her shorts. My knees became weak when I looked at the man. I told him not to leave her and he said, "Boss. I have my own woman. I can't take her with me."

I took up the money, put it in my pocket and I told him thanks for the money. I left her a few days after. We didn't have a fight. My mother told me never to hit a woman.

I took my son to my mother but I took him back to her after she threatened to take me to court. She didn't because I warned her that I would expose her in court.

My second babymother didn't have any manners. She was always cursing bad words but we never lived together.

The third one was a street girl. She wasn't a prostitute but a dancehall type of girl. She liked to go to karaoke and would leave the child with the neighbour. When I spoke to her she tried to fight me.

The girl I have now is the best I have had but her family is living abroad and have filed for her. They told her not to get married because it would interfere with the filing but I am eager to settle down.

I don't want to get messed up again. She said that when she goes away she will come back and we can get married. The filing is taking too long. I would like to get married soon.


Dear M.K.,

If the relationship you are having with this woman is steady and solid, you need not worry about the future with her. You are worried this woman will go abroad and not return to marry you.

You see, you do not trust women at all and, to you, all women are the same. They are all cheaters. Some women say all men are the same. They are all cheaters. Of course, that is nonsense and it is also wrong to say all women are the same, no woman can be trusted.

It is true that you have had bad experiences with women but that does not mean your present woman will let you down.

Please, live in peace with her. Allow her to go abroad in peace when the time comes. I don't need to comment on the incidents you have had with the mothers of your other children.


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