My husband doesn't want me to work


May 04, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you for your help. I have been married for the past 10 years and I am a stay-at-home mom. When I got married, I told my husband that when I have my child I would like to stay home with him for at least a year. That is what happened, but before my child was one year old I became pregnant again. My husband has a good job and he could take care of the family. So it is over 10 years now that I have not worked outside of the home.

Now I am 33 years old and I would like to go out and work and my husband is making a fuss over it. He does not want me to go out to work. Please don't get me wrong. My husband can still afford to carry the home, but I am tired of staying home. Every time I raise the issue my husband seems to freeze. We have two cars, so I will not be a burden to him to pick me up from work.

Pastor, I can get a job. One is available to me right now. I would have to start from the bottom because I have not been working and I do not have the experience in an office setting, but I worked before I got married. I have enjoyed been with my children, but I would like to work outside the home.

Pastor, please tell me that nothing is wrong in going out and work. My husband reads your column every day. He does not now I have written to you. He would be shocked when he sees this letter. Don't let me down.


Dear A.S.,

I commend you for making the sacrifice of staying at home and taking care of your children. You have done very well. There are many women who would love to stay home with their children, especially when they are very young, but they are unable to do so because they were not in a position to support them.

You and your husband have been very fortunate to have had the resources to allow you to stay home and take care of the kids while he went out and worked. Your husband has gotten accustomed to having you at home, so he is resisting the suggestion from you that you would like to go to work outside of the home. I hope that he would come to realise that you would be better off psychologically and emotionally if you were allowed to do what you want to do at this stage of your life. I therefore give you my wholehearted support.

I will say that you have been very fortunate to be able to get yourself a job. You will have some struggles in adjusting in an office environment, but I am sure you will do well. Let me hear from you again.


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