I lied to protect my friend's relationship


August 29, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Years ago, I had a friend who slept with a girl. At the time, he was engaged to another woman who was living out of town. This woman got mad at him and called his fiancEe and told her she has been sleeping with him. He was staying at my place at that time and had many women on the side, excluding me. He told me what happened and asked me to convince her that what the woman had told her were all lies. His wife-to-be was a doctor. He didn't want to lose her. I had always told him he was going to get caught someday.

She called me and was so upset - crying and shocked. I managed to convince her it was all a lie. I don't recall what story I gave her but it worked, they are still married and living in the States. This occurred almost 30 years ago. If this was today, I would never do it and I have asked myself why I did it back then. I think it was because he was so desperate and begged me to keep his secret. This all happened so quickly, I had to think on the spot.

His life was on the line. When I think of it now, it was more her life on the line. He was the type to go from woman to woman.


Dear S.D.,

I get your point. You say you lied to save the relationship of a womaniser. His fiancEe was about to leave him, so you saved his relationship. She believed you, but you have had to live with the memory of telling these lies. Your conscience must have bothered you. The good thing about their relationship is that they are still together. I hope that he has admitted to her that he had relations with other women. As a medical doctor, perhaps she insisted that he did tests for STIs and so on. I doubt that she would have gone to bed with him without knowing he was free from these diseases.

It is good hearing from you, my dear. Take good care of yourself.


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