My ex told my mother I am a 'loose' girl


October 11, 2016

Dear Pastor,

Greetings to you in the Saviour's name! I see that you have helped many people and I hope that you can help me.

I am 20 years old and I am living with my parents. My parents are in good jobs and they are respectable people. My grandmother also lives with us. She was like our nanny when we were children.

I met a man a year ago and fell in love with him. He convinced me that he loved me. He told me that he was 24 years old and I believed him.

One day, I accompanied him to do some business and he had to show his ID. He took out his driver's licence and placed it on the counter and I peeped and saw his correct age. He was 30 years old.

I asked him about it and he made light of it. But my problem got worse. I found out that he was involved with another woman and that this woman had a boyfriend and she knew about me.

Just when I was hoping to leave him, I discovered that I was pregnant. He told my mother that he did not believe that I was pregnant for him because he had never had sex with me without using a condom.

Pastor, this man took my virginity at Hope Gardens. I know the date and the hour we had sex. We did not use a condom. The only thing I did not tell my mother when she questioned me about what he said was where we had sex.


My mother told me that I should leave him alone, and she told him that since I was a careless girl and that I was giving myself to different men, he should not come back to the house.

To this day, my father has not said a word to me. I say good morning, and he replies but says nothing else.

How can this man who got me pregnant be so wicked? I understand that the other girl is pregnant, too.

My sisters and my mother have bought the things that I need to have my baby. I don't like to pass my father if he is in the room sitting reading the papers because I am so embarrassed. My mother says when I have the baby, we will deal with my babyfather.


Dear G.W.,

I am very sorry to hear that you are pregnant. I don't believe that you are a bad girl. I believe that this man lied to you and deceived you.

From the very tone of your letter, it shows that you are a very sheltered girl and very naOve.

This man who got you pregnant is a snake. He knows what he did. He knows that you were a virgin and that you were not playing around with other guys, and yet he told your mother that he wasn't sure who had impregnated you.

He embarrassed you before your mother. You could never continue to have this man as your boyfriend. In fact, the only conversation you should have with him should be about the baby.

He is such a silly man! These days if a man expresses doubt as to whether he is the father of a child, a DNA test can be done.

You need not worry. This man does not have to say unpleasant things about you.

Girl, you made a mistake. From the time you discovered that this man had lied to you, you should have dropped him like hot bread.


Before I go, let me say a word about your father. He is a good father. He is deeply disappointed in you and he is dealing with your pregnancy by remaining silent.

He does not want you to feel rejected. He could have cursed you like so many fathers have done. I suggest that you write him a note and tell him that you know that you have disappointed him and that you also know that he loves you and that you are sorry. He would appreciate that.

I wish you well.


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