Falling in love with my mother's man


October 14, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 21 years old with a three-year-old child. I am writing about some great confusion in my life. It's about my mother's spouse. I don't even know where to begin, but I'll try to include everything.

I found out about a week ago that he loved me from the beginning of his relationship with my mom. The situation got confusing when my mom forcefully started a relationship with him, he said.

Pastor, can I tell you that I have a sister who is now 16 and he has been sleeping with her also. He says that he has tried to stop sleeping with her, but every time she keeps threatening to tell my mom what they have been doing.

He says he truly loves me, and to be frank, he shows me in many ways that he loves me. He told me he wants to see me happy. I believe him.

I'm partially single now, but I don't want to make a bad decision.

My mom says she loves this man, but I think I'm falling for him regardless of the situation. He's away now, but he's trying to break off from my mom because she makes him miserable and unhappy.


He's great with my daughter and me, but honestly, I didn't think of his greatness to us in a relationship way. It's not hard to love him back, but I'm reserving my feelings for the one who truly deserves it.

I keep thinking that if I start a relationship with him, I'll become the bad daughter. What will people think? What will my mom think? We couldn't hide forever.

Please, Pastor, I need your advice as soon as possible.


Dear L.W.,

The thought of having an intimate relationship with this man shouldn't even cross your mind. This man is deplorable and wicked. He is depraved. Only a corrupt man would have a sexual relationship with a woman and also have sex with her 16-year-old daughter and also be begging her older daughter to have a sexual relationship with him. Such a man is grossly immoral.

You have a child by another man, and evidently, you are not getting along with your child's father. This man is trying to wiggle his way into your life.


From the very day he hinted that he was interested in you, you should have put him in his place. That was not something you should have entertained at all.

How he and your mother became friends is not an issue. If he did not want your mother, he could have told her that he was not interested in her.

They became intimate, and this foolishness he is trying to tell you about her should not cause you to think that it is all right for you to have an intimate relationship with him.

The man is a beast, and you are partly to be blamed for what he has been doing to your younger sister.

I tell you boldly (and I hope I can be proven wrong) that you do not love your mother and sister at all. If you loved them, you would have reported this man to your mother long ago.

You should have told her that this man is having sex with your sister and that he has approached you, too.

As I write this response, I call upon my God to intervene in this matter. It stinks. This man is a beast in human form, and you need to let your mother know what he has been doing.

You also need to talk to your sister and tell her that she needs to desist from having anything to do with him. She should stop having sex with him and stop taking any money from him.

He is trying to get to you by showing attention to your child. Don't be fooled, he is a bad man. Don't allow him to get into your life.

I will be praying for your mother, your sister, your child and you.


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