My husband got my niece pregnant


December 21, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am writing to you with tears in my eyes. I'm 43 years old and I have four children. I had two of them before I met my husband, and the other two after we got married. I don't want to give my husband a bad name.

He used to treat me well. I took my niece to live with us when she was 15 because my sister died suddenly and her father asked me to take her. I discussed it with my husband and he said that if she behaves herself it wouldn't be a problem. I treated my niece well. She was doing very well in school.

When she became 17, I noticed that she would back-answer me, something that she didn't do before. She then became close with my husband. She could not do anything wrong for him. Every time she did anything wrong and I corrected her, my husband would tell me that I should remember that she is not a little girl and that she lost her mother so she might be depressed. I did not know that the reason why he was taking up for her was because they were going to bed.


My neighbour told me that something doesn't seem right between them and I must open my eyes. By that time, it was too late. My husband got her pregnant. When I asked her how she could go to bed with my husband, she said it was my husband who told her that I can't satisfy him. My husband would swear on the Bible that he did not get her pregnant. Then behind my back he took her to do an abortion. She was 18 years old at that time.

The two children I had before I got married to my husband don't like him. He ran them out of the house and my niece is living with another relative. I am so confused.

This girl went to church with me every weekend, and out of my good heart, I took her in. I understand that my husband is still seeing her, although he denies it. Now she is telling people that she was never pregnant, and my husband is calling me a liar. Sometime we can't be sorry for relatives, especially the females.

My husband said that the girl lied on him. So I asked him if she lied on him, how come he is still seeing her. He can't answer.

He does not come back to church anymore. He calls everybody hypocrite. I called my niece and I told her that destruction will reach her. But whenever I speak to her she is very quiet. I can't say that she has been rude to me. I don't hate her. I know that it was my husband who made advances at her first. If he didn't put question to her first, she wouldn't answer me back when she was living here.

How can a little girl satisfy my husband more than I can? What kind of experience does she have? That is the statement that hurts me so much. If I had a visa I would go away. What do you have to say, Pastor?


Dear O.H.

I have received numerous letters from women whose female relatives have had affairs with their husbands. Sometimes the girls throw themselves on the men. Other times, it is the men who force themselves on the girls.

Your husband is a liar. Everything he says about his relationship with this girl is a lie. He needs to take the blame. He showed interest in her and the poor girl took him on. She reciprocated. I don't mean to imply that she could not have said no to him. But perhaps he was persuasive and told her the things that young girls like to hear from men.

But please excuse me for describing him as a wicked and irresponsible man. He should have respected you enough not to become intimate with her and to get her pregnant. Sad indeed.

I beg you, ma'am, hold your head up high, and go to your church and worship your God. I expect the time will come when your niece will beg your pardon, if she has not done so as yet. Stay right in your house and deal with your husband. He has not asked you to leave, so put that out of you mind. If you feel like taking a break, do so, but do not leave your home permanently. I wish you well.


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