Wifey nah gi mi none


February 09, 2017

Dear Pastor

I am 51 year old. I've been married twice. My first wife died after seven and a half years of marriage. It took me five years to get married again.

My first wife and I had three boys and they are all doing well. I love them. One is a doctor and the other two are working with government.

My second wife has one daughter and one son. I met her in the church. She is very beautiful. Her children call me dad. The daughter sticks with me but her son is a spoiled boy.

I used to 'ruff him' but I stopped because I realised that his mother didn't like it.

My wife and I have good jobs but she does not save much. I am the one who tries to do the saving. At my wife's age of 40, she behaves like a hot girl.

I had some money in the bank and I added her name to my account. And without my knowledge she withdrew $100,000.

When I asked her why, she said the children wanted something. It nearly ended our marriage because she called me mean and I know I am not mean and I thumped her in her mouth and the children got involved.

Pastor, it is now six months and she separated herself from me and is sleeping with her daughter and she hasn't come back into the bedroom.

I have done everything to make up with her. She likes sexy lingerie so I bought her some sexy ones. I sent her roses at work. I have done everything.

I called a family counsellor and asked him to meet with us. I have not yet gone to see the family counsellor because she said she was not going.

Pastor, I cannot live this way. She is behaving as if she has another man. I am sorry to think that way. I am begging you to tell me what to do.


Dear J.W.

I believe what you have written but I don't want you to think that your wife has another man in her life. If you would believe so you would cloud the issue.

You should not raise a matter of cheating unless you have the facts staring you in your face. You lost control of yourself and you slapped your wife.

You haven't said whether her face was swollen or whether she was able to go to work the following day.

It is amazing that she has not forgiven you. She sees what you did as grossly disrespectful and indeed you were disrespectful.

Of course, you can smooth it off by saying that you were in a temper. Have you stopped to think that this woman is suffering emotionally just like you?

If your wife finally agrees to meet with a family counsellor, raise the matter about her handling of money.

But please do not do so if both of you are discussing the matter with a person who is not a trained counsellor, especially a member of the family


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