Don't trust my boyfriend around my daughter


March 13, 2017

Dear Pastor,

I am 27 and I have a six-year-old daughter. Her father and I are not together. He used to abuse me and the abuse worsened after I had my child, so we broke up.

The guy I am now living with is all right, but he doesn't have a good job. I'm trying with him because whenever he gets money, he is not afraid to give me the majority of it.

Whenever he doesn't give me any money, he doesn't want to eat from me. He goes to his mother. I told him I don't like that. I am working.

Pastor, I have a problem that no one knows about. It is bothering me. So I am asking you for your advice.

My boyfriend is 20. He is an only child and he tells his mother everything. I try not to tell him any secrets because he will tell his mother.

He loves my daughter, but I saw something that I didn't like.

He was lying down on our bed and my daughter was lying down on his belly and I observed that my boyfriend had an erection while my daughter was on his belly.


I asked him how is it that he had an erection and my daughter was on his belly and he said he did not know. From then, I don't know how to trust him.

Recently, I asked him again and he said that he was surprised that I still had that on my mind, and he wanted to know if I believed that he would interfere with my daughter.

Do you think that I should continue to trust him with my daughter? I am very worried.


Dear E.F.

Let me begin by commenting on your present boyfriend. You say that he loves your daughter and I gather that you mean that they get along well.

I am sure that it is the type of relationship that he has with her why your daughter felt very comfortable to lie down on his tummy.

As you know, children play with their parents all the time and your daughter is no exception. She is an innocent child and she could have been playing with his tummy and chatting away innocently.

She might have even touched his private parts. Whatever might have happened, he became sexually aroused and that is a big concern to you. That should not have happened at all.

You know that men have sexually abused children, even at that age. On the other hand, the question is: is it fair to accuse this man of having such motives? I think not, but it is always better to err on the side of caution.

Therefore, you should tell your boyfriend that he should not play with your daughter unless you are present.

It should never be done in private and you should also let your boyfriend know that if you were to see any sign that would cause you to feel that he has abused her, you'll report the matter immediately to the police and have him arrested.

You have to watch your man like a hawk and not allow yourself to be blinded by the love you have for him. Protect your innocent daughter. When she grows up, she will thank you for it.

But at the same time, do not continue to give your boyfriend the impression that you don't love him.


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