Don’t want to wake my wife for sex

Dear Pastor,

My wife and I are both in our 40s. I am a truck driver, but she has an eight-to-five job.

Most times when I come home, she has already cooked and my food is left in the pot on the stove, while she is gone to bed. I will warm up my food and eat it; I don't make a big fuss at all because I know she works hard. I hear some men say that they are not warming up any dinner - their woman should stay up and give them their dinner. Sometimes my wife does not even know when I get into bed. She is so tired. Sometimes I want to make love to her, but she snores a lot and my conscience would bother me to wake her up. Sometime she is flat on her back sleeping, and I don't want to disturb her.

Sometimes she complains that I don't have time for her, but that is not true. I can say the same thing, but she is always at home. Sometimes she snores so hard that I have to turn her on her side and she would stop snoring for a little while. I have even had to 'steal a piece' from her when she is on her side (I hope you know what I mean).

F.M.

Dear F.M.,

I know what you are talking about when you talk about entering a woman when she is laying down on her side.

Jamaicans commonly call this as 'stealing piece', but the official name is 'scooping', and some people ask the question: How can a man do that to his wife? She must be sleeping as if she is dead. Can a man do that to his woman and she is not aware of what is going on?

I suppose when a woman trusts her man, anything can happen even without her realising that he is having sexual intercourse with her. During counselling sessions, some women, in the presence of their men, have told me that their men are famous for doing so. The women admit that they were aware of it when they woke up in the morning and found that their underwear was either partly removed, or wet.

The question is, what are you complaining about now? Is it because the woman snores a lot? Or are you saying that you are not getting enough of her? You know what to do to satisfy yourself, and she is not objecting to you when you practise scooping. So enjoy your wife. She is a good woman. She prepares your meals, and she is doing much more than what many wives do. Make sure you take care of this woman. Ignore her snoring if you can. Encourage your woman to talk to a doctor about it.

Pastor