Shocked my daughter is already seeing her period

Dear Pastor,

I am 37 years old and I have a 10-year-old daughter. I have also a son who is seven years old.

My daughter shares a room with my niece who is nine. My son has his own room. My daughter is very proud. Before my niece came to live with us, she had her own space. Since my niece has been living here, my daughter is always complaining. They were sharing a double bed. My daughter told her father that we should try and buy another bed and put it in her room so that my niece could sleep on that bed because she sleeps badly.

My husband bought a bed and put it in the room, so my niece is sleeping on it. She is only with us temporarily because her mother is on a special course abroad. This girl is different. She will be 11 soon, but already she is seeing her period. I had told her that the time would come when she would see it, but I did not expect her to have the experience so early. Fortunately for her, it happened one Saturday night while she was asleep. She woke us up and told us she was having problems. My niece did not know what was going on as she was asleep.

The following Monday morning, I kept her home so she could have got accustomed to the period flow. I was about 14 years old when I started to menstruate, so I am wondering whether it is the type of food girls are eating nowadays that causes them to see their period so early. But my niece now knows what is going on and is wondering when she will begin to see her menses. I don't have an answer for her.

- R.A.

Dear R.A.,

I believe that you have tried your best to have a happy home. I also believe that you tried to tell your daughter what she should expect to happen to her as she grows up.

You have admitted that you did not expect her to see her menses at such a tender age, but it is not unusual for that to happen to girls who are so very young. Some girls were deeply embarrassed the first time they saw their period because of where it happened. Girls have also complained that their mothers did not tell them anything. They didn't prepare them at all.

I have known girls who saw their period while they were in school, at class, and their teachers were males and these men had to move swiftly to get female teachers to assist these girls. After that, these girls never forgave their parents for the embarrassment that they endured in schools. Some girls were in church when they had the experience.

Don't condemn yourself for what happened to your daughter. I cannot tell you why girls see their period while they are so young, for, as you know, I am not a medical doctor. What I know you should do is have your daughter prepared for this experience every month. You might as well tell your niece that she does not need to be in a hurry to see her period; her time will come. Prepare her for the experience.

- Pastor