Which one of my women, should I stay with?


October 15, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am in love with a girl but I am not sure that she is in love with me. I don't drive and I don't make a lot of money. This girl and I attend the same church. She says that she loves me. We talk on the phone often, but every time I invite her to go out with me she has an excuse. Twice, I have noticed a guy coming by after church to pick her up. And when he comes she hurriedly gets into his car and she is gone. Then she would call me in the evening and when I tell her that I am not pleased she tells me that I should not be worried, he is just a friend.

I am now interested in another girl, but I am afraid to tell the one from church. I am only searching out this new girl. This one is very simple and she doesn't dress up. I am getting to like her. I have even promised to give her money to buy some clothes. She sells on the street and she is not afraid to do so. She also has a child and she does not know where to find his father. The father has never supported the boy. I give her money to help to send the little boy to school, so now I have found myself with two girlfriends that I did not mean to have. One who goes out with another guy and tells me not to worry and one who is poor but likes me. I am 23 and this girl who has the child is 25. The other girl is 19. The girl with the child doesn't live in a very nice area. The people use outside toilet but she keeps her house very clean. I feel frustrated sometimes because I don't know what to do.


Dear L.W.,

Which of these young women do you really love? Evidently you admire the young woman who is 19 but as I see it, she doesn't think much of you. You are not in her league. She is more interested in the other guy. She prefers his company. She has no time for you. You have invited her out and she has made excuses. These things should tell you that she is not interested in you. You have met another girl. She is poor but evidently she loves you. She is not ashamed to sell on the street. It is helping her to feed her child and herself. Let me congratulate you for giving this young woman a helping hand. She is humble and she has personal pride. I have the gut feeling that you prefer her, but on the other hand, you wish you can hold on to the 19-year-old. I would encourage you to try to develop a very good relationship with the 25-year-old woman. To me your future would be happier with her.


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