She says no sex on the Sabbath


October 22, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am 25 and my wife is 22. We have been friends from she was 19. Both of us grew up in Christian homes but I cannot say that I was very dedicated. I am responsible for leading her astray because she lost her virginity to me but she didn't mind it because we were in love. Since we are married my wife has rededicated her life to the Lord and she is active in church. She believes everything she hears at church. Sometimes, she is not rational and we argue over these things but we try not to make our disagreements affect our marriage. Because of my job I am not always at home. I travel a lot and we have decided to hold out a little longer before we start having children. At times I am only home twice a week. One of our sisters stays with her sometimes when I am not there. My wife does not like us to make love on a Friday night. She claims that it is wrong because that is when her Sabbath begins. I disagree. I do not see how making love can affect one's Sabbath. I have forced her to do it a few times but she does not respond well, so I don't anymore. A few Fridays ago I got home about five thirty and after having my dinner and showering we went to bed and I tried to make love to my wife. And she was very cold and kept saying, "No, no no, wait until Sabbath has ended". I reminded her that I had to leave the following day (Saturday) at about six o'clock and she still would not agree. I tried to remove her underwear but she resisted in a way that I never saw before, so I left her alone and got out of bed. Pastor, I warned my wife that I didn't have to come home and there were girls that I know who would not turn me down if I approach them for sex but I have never done it. Is it right for my wife to be refusing me on religious grounds? If you say that she has a right to refuse me, please point me to the Scripture.


Dear G.A.,

Are you telling me that your wife rejected you on religious grounds? Well, I could tell you this, dear sir, I know as a fact that some Christian people do not believe that they should have sex on Sundays. I spoke to a minister some years ago and he told me that it is not right for a preacher to have sex on Saturday nights because his thoughts should be centred on God and he has to preach on Sunday. So, according to him, it is a sin to be thinking about having sex. Others have insisted that it is wrong to have sex on Sundays. Your wife is a Sabbath keeper and her Sabbath begins on Friday evening. She believes that it is wrong to make love during Sabbath. Perhaps she sees it as hard work and one should not work on the Sabbath. Oh my goodness, what's going on here? Any man who has a woman like your woman is in trouble. But will someone please tell me why it is wrong for a married couple to enjoy each other on a Friday evening. Your wife is not using common sense. She is not wise. If she heard that from her minister then he is a religious nut. I want you to do something to prevent your marriage from deteriorating. I suggest that both of you make an appointment to see a Christian family counsellor as soon as possible. I wish you well, dear sir.


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