My babyfather threatened my boyfriend


October 30, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I am a regular reader of your column. I am having a problem with my child's father. He does not support his child. When I call him and he comes, he doesn't want to give me any money unless I agree to give him sex.

I am fed up with his behaviour so I have another boyfriend and he has been coming to my house and my grandma agreed for him to come. My babyfather came and saw him at the house. I was combing his hair and my babyfather behaved as if he wanted a war.

He asked my boyfriend what he was doing here and my boyfriend said, "What you doing here?" And he told him that he came to see his child and I am still his girlfriend. My child's father told him that he should leave because he was not leaving and he is helping to support the child.

My grandmother had to come out and ask my child's father to leave her yard. Before he left, he threatened my boyfriend. I don't like this man anymore and I am afraid that he may try to hurt my boyfriend.

The money that he said he brought for the child, he didn't give it to me. My boyfriend told me I shouldn't take money from him at all and I should put his name on the birth certificate as the father of the child. Please give me your advice.


Dear C.J.,

Your child's father is not a good man. He shouldn't withhold money from you to support his child if you do not agree to have sex with him. He is obligated to support his child, but you are not under any obligation to have sex with him.

Evidently, you are a young woman who is in great need and you felt compelled to establish another relationship with another man. And the reason for doing so is to get financial assistance from him.

Your child's father doesn't have any class. He visited you and he saw another young man. He should have given you the money and gone his way in peace, but instead he wanted to put up a fight and he threatened your boyfriend. I hope your boyfriend will not take this threat lightly. He should report him to the police.

I must caution you. This new man is coming to your home. Evidently you are getting money from him. I hope you do not have unprotected sex with him because if you do, he is likely to get you pregnant and tie you up with another child. Then he may go his way and leave you to suffer even more than before.

Do you have a skill? You need to learn to support yourself and to help your grandmother.

Your boyfriend is encouraging you to put his name on the baby's birth certificate. Don't even consider doing so. If the child father's name is already there, leave it alone. And if it is not there, do not add your new boyfriend's name to it.


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