If you cannot trust him, the relationship will not work
I love to read your columns in the Star. I am amazed by your work. Keep up the good work you are doing. I am writing to you for some advice. I am a youngwoman and my boyfriend is a bit older than I am. I love him very much. He makes me happy, even when we are not together. We don't really see each often because of some circumstances. He makes me feel like he loves me although he is having a hard time getting over the hurt from his previous relationship. He says he is not cheating and I believe him at times, but sometimes he gives me reason to doubt him. I am a very insecure and jealous girlfriend. He recently got a job and I am very happy for him but inside I am not a hundred per cent happy. Now, I feel he is going to meet some other girl out there that can be there whenever he wants her to be. Do you think I am being a bit insecure? Do you think I should trust him?
If you cannot trust this man the relationship will not work. You have to learn to grow up. Trust, respect and communication are ingredients for a happy relationship. If a couple does not trust each other or respect each other and they don't communicate the relationship is bound to fail. You say this man has given you reasons not to trust him but you didn't say what these reasons are.
It seems to me that you are immature. You cannot do what so many women try to do and that is to watch their men. And some foolish men try to watch their women, but if a person wants to cheat you could even hire a private detective, it won't help you. Some women cheat in the kitchen, in the bathroom and in the office to name a few places. If this man loves you, you need not worry. You are afraid that he might see another girl now that he has got a new job. Don't be silly. Girls would always be around. He will see them and they will see him. Men would always be around. You will see them and they will see you but that does not mean that a relationship would develop between this man and the girls or between you and the other guys, so stop behaving as a silly young woman.