Confused over two men


November 14, 2015

Dear Pastor,

My current relationship is very complicated. There is no bond and it is hard to cope. My boyfriend and I practically living together but there are times when it seems like there is no us or relationship.

He is very stingy and when I say 'very', I mean 'very' - even to his own mother. When he started staying with my mother, I used to give her money, even if it was $500. These days, I really don't know where his money goes.

I am in university. When I got accepted, he was not happy for me. Out of everyone who heard of my accomplishment, he was the only one who brought out the negative. He always says he is happy for me, but he has never shown it. The other day we had an argument and he said some awful things to me.

My reason for this letter is that I have met a guy who likes me and I really like him, too. He is from my community but has lived abroad for some time. He has returned home and will be leaving soon.

The problem is that I am very attached to him and I have only known him for five days. It surprises me that I am so attached to him. I don't often like people so quickly. He told every detail about his past. He hides nothing from me, as far as I know.

My problem is that my current boyfriend is trying to get with me but my feelings for him have changed. I am no longer in love with him. All my feelings have disappeared. I can't even stand being around him. It is not because of this new guy. My boyfriend has done a lot of bad things to me. Most times when I remember all that he has done, I just laugh.

I am confused. I don't knpw if I should leave my boyfriend and try a relationship with this new guy. Someone told me to try dating other men. I have never done that before. I asked my sister what she thought about the new guy. They grew up together. To my surprise, she told me that he has a lot of baggage and that I shold stay away from him. I sought someone else's advice and he told me that he is a good guy and he knows nothing bad about him. I am still confused and afraid of giving up sure for unsure.

It's a sure thing that I may have a definite but struggling future with my boyfriend. On the other hand, I am unsure if I can have a future with this other guy, though his goals are the same as mine.

What makes this situation more complicated is that the new guy has the same first name as my current boyfriend.

They both rule under the same zodiac sign and they both are the same age. Pastor, I am really looking forward for your response. Keep up the good work you are doing.


Dear S.B.,

You are very naive. Some might say you are simple. Your so-called boyfriend should not be living with you in your mother's house. She should have refused the money and you should have put him in his place. Five hundred dollars could only buy box food

What an out of order man. But then you say that he is very mean. He needs to be living on his own, paying his own bills, buying his own groceries, and cooking his own meals. Why is he living with you at your mother's house?

What is a girl, who is attending university, doing with this man who evidently cannot help himself and is jealous of the progress that you have made? Tell your mother I said to ask him to leave her house.

Concerning this new man that you have met - girl, are you crazy? You have only gotten to know this man for five days and yet you are telling me that you know all about him? You are too simple. He only wants to get under your skirt.


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