I won't let his moher keep our baby


November 24, 2015

Dear Pastor,

I have a baby by a man. We have been together for two and a half years. He was living with his mother and I was sharing house with one of my sisters. I had to pay half for everything and when I got pregnant I became sickly and my boyfriend said he was going to rent a place so that the both of us could live. He told his mother that he was leaving home and she told him that he should wait until the baby was born to see if the baby is really his. He suggested that to me and I started to cry and told him that I did not know he didn't trust me. She said he trusted me but just to please his mother he would wait.

One day when he came by he told me to get ready, he was going to show me a place. He took me to a place and showed me a two bedroom place. He said that it belonged to a friend of his and the friend was going abroad to live and he would leave everything in the house for us to use. I was so glad because the only thing I had at my sister was a bed and a dresser.

He moved me in and slept with me the first night. He didn't tell his mother about the new place, so sometimes he would sleep with me at the new place and sometimes at home. He moved his clothes piece by piece for his mother's house and finally he told her that I had a place and he can't let me stay there alone. His mother hates me for nothing at all. I haven't done her anything. She has it to say that because of me her son is not giving her anything and that is a lie. He is not giving her as much as she used to get but he still supports her. This woman is 60. She can work but she depends on her children. When the child was born he took me to show her the baby. You should see her scrutinising the little baby's legs. When she was finished she said she wasn't sure that he is the father but since he said that he is, she is glad to see her grandchild. I was so hurt, I asked my boyfriend to take me back home. When I was able to go back to work my boyfriend told me that she offered to keep the child but I told him no, I am afraid of her. This woman is wicked. I can't trust her. My boyfriend says that she won't do anything to the baby but I don't know if that is true. If she keeps the baby she will get more money from my boyfriend but I am not going to leave the baby with her. I am afraid. Do you think I am wrong?


Dear B.N.,

It is unlikely that your child's father mother would hurt the child but I do understand your reluctance in having her baby-sit. She made some unfortunate remarks and you would never forget what she said. Some mothers-in-law often blame their daughters-in-law of taking away money from them. Sons who give their mothers money often cannot afford to give them the same amount after they have taken on a woman and they have the responsibility of supporting children. Some mothers-in-law are very understanding and often tell their sons to give them money occasionally. In fact, they do their best to help them support their new born etc. This woman's mouth will get her in trouble and the advice she gave her son was not good. On the other hand, this man loves his mother and he needs to be commended. Perhaps you need to reconsider the position that you have taken. Let her keep the baby while you are at work. I am sure that she would take very good care of her.

Before I go, let me urge you to take very good care of the apartment in which you now live. The owner would expect nothing less from your boyfriend and yourself.


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