Boyfriend cheated with my skinny classmate


August 27, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am 19 years old and my boyfriend is 26. I am living with my parents, but there was a death in the family. My mother's uncle died. My mother and my father had to attend the funeral. I could not go because I do not have a visa and my parents had to be there to help to make the funeral arrangements. They left me at home and my father's aunt was to come to stay with me from the Friday. She called me and told me that she could not come to stay with me until Sunday so I should have one of my friends stay with me.

I decided that I would go and stay with my boyfriend. I called him many times, but he would not respond. I thought he had his phone turned off. When I got to his house, I saw his car. It was still early in the evening. He lives in an apartment. The guard told me that he was there, but he had a visitor and he would not advise me to go there. I told him that he was my boyfriend. He said, 'Boyfriend?' I said, 'Yes'. He tried to call him, but no answer. I went up to the door and I knocked and knocked, but no answer. So I called his name three times and he answered and came out. He was shocked to see me. I told him that I was calling all afternoon. He told me that he had a visitor so I couldn't come in. I told him that I was not leaving, so he had better open the door.


He decided that he wasn't going to open it, so I raised my voice. He told me to keep quiet and he would put on his clothes and take me back home. When he tried to close the door, I pushed it. Then I saw why he couldn't open the door. A girl was on the bed. She was my classmate! Both of us attend evening classes together. I even helped this girl with some of her assignments, but I did not know that both of them were having a relationship.

I pulled the girl's foot and he intervened and threatened to beat me. She is skin and bones, so she couldn't manage me. All three of us were arguing when the neighbour knocked on the door and said that we were disturbing them. She said it was the first she was coming there. She packed her bag and he drove away with her. When I did not hear from him, I called him. He said he didn't want to get himself into trouble, so he would come home in the morning. I stayed there, but I could not sleep. The girl forgot a little diary and I read it.

Every time she had sex with him, she recorded it, so I found out everything. I burnt the diary.

I love this man so much. I am not going to leave him. My aunt came up from the country to stay with me and I told her I spent Friday and Saturday night with a friend. I love this man. I don't know what to do. I can't believe that he could choose this 'mawga' girl over me.

A. T.

Dear A. T.

It would have been much better if you had stayed at home when you tried to reach your boyfriend unsuccessfully. You were determined to find him. The security guard at the apartment told you that he was inside and he had a visitor. You were determined to find him, and that was unwise. It was early and you should have left.

When your boyfriend realised you were there, he offered to take you home, but you made yourself common by raising your voice and by pulling the leg of the girl you described as being 'mawga'. A big fight could have ensued if your boyfriend did not intervene. You are a silly girl. Cursing and threatening this girl would not have helped this relationship that you are having with your boyfriend. Now that you understand that you are not the only woman in his life, what are you going to do? Your classmate is also a part of his life, and who knows if he has others.

You need not fight over him. If you were wise, you would have ended the relationship that you are having with him now that you know that you are not the only girl who is interested in him and you're not the only girl he is interested in. Don't go back to his house. You may get another surprise and this time, he might carry out his threat and beat you. Of course, that would be most unfortunate.


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