My boyfriend blames me for getting pregnant

October 05, 2016

Dear Pastor

Greetings in the mighty name of our soon coming King! I am a regular reader of your column.

I am 18 years old. I have a boyfriend. We started to have sex from I was 15 years old. He is the only one I had sex with.

When I was 12 years old, a big man fondled me and I reported him to my mother. She went to the man and cursed him. He said I was lying on him. My father was away on farm work.

When he came back, my mother did not tell him what happened. She told me that I should keep quiet and that I should not say anything to him when he got home, so I didn't. That man never said anything to me again.

One day after leaving school, I changed my clothes in my boyfriend's car and changed my hairstyle and we went out. He said he wanted to have sex with me before I go home, so we decided to do it in his car. He did not have a condom. He gave me money to buy the morning-after pill.




I had a class, so I was unable to buy the pill the following morning, and when I remembered it was too late. When I missed my period I told my boyfriend and he asked me if I didn't take the pill, and I tried to explain what happened to him. He was very upset that I was pregnant.

I didn't want to carry the child. Everybody in my family agreed that I should do an abortion. My boyfriend gave me the money to have the abortion and I did so.

Now my boyfriend is saying that I shouldn't have had the abortion, and saying that I should have had the child. He wants me to get pregnant for him again.

I told him to wait. If I get pregnant I would like to have twin because my boyfriend is a twin. Sometimes I wonder if I would have had a twin if I didn't do the abortion.



Dear K.T.

What is in the past is in the past. You seem to know from an early age how to deceive your parents. You left home in your uniform to go to school and then changed from your uniform into regular clothes in your boyfriend's car. I suppose you changed back again into your uniform to go back home.

You started having sex early. The only good thing about you is that you kept one boyfriend.




When your boyfriend had unprotected sex with you and gave you money to buy the morning-after pill, you didn't, so you got pregnant and then did an abortion.

You cannot bring back that old pregnancy, so you must put that behind you. What you need to do now is to focus on the future. It is likely that you would get pregnant again so continue to focus on your studies.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be encouraging you to get pregnant again. He should be encouraging you to continue your studies and to do well.

He should stop blaming you for what happened. He was just as careless as you were. Pastor

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