Church keeping me from my man


November 17, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a 21-year-old woman and I have a serious problem. I went to another parish to live with my cousin but things didn't work out, so I was kicked out and was forced to live with friends. I then stayed there for a month and got kicked out again. It had nothing to do with my behaviour. After I was kicked out the second time, I went to live with another cousin, who loves me very much.

I then met a young man who lived next door and I fell for him deeply. We were having a serious relationship a week after we met. I was a backslider at that time. I ended up moving back to Kingston after getting a job there. We weren't on track like before. We had about three break-ups because of my church's beliefs. I belong to the apostolic faith. He was such a gentleman. He understood my situation, accepted my explanation, and we got back into a relationship and became lovers again. He was depressed when he did not have me in his arms. I cried daily when I think about us not being together.

Pastor, it's my fault that we're now in this situation. I'm madly in love with him. I want to be with him but my problem is that my church and their beliefs, and all manner of persecution that they will be doing with my name if I move out and go back to where my boyfriend is living. No one knows about my sweet heartbeat, except for those who live where my boyfriend lives. What's the decision you think I should take?


Dear Y.C.,

I am glad that you got yourself a job and that you do not have to be thrown out of the homes of the people you used to live with.

It is quite evident that you had a very hot relationship with the young man with whom you fell in love. Your body was on fire, so to speak, after meeting him. You got a job, Kingston and that has kept you away from him. Your big problem is with your church. You want to serve God and you want your man at the same time.

That should not be such a great conflict if both of you should agree to get married. However, your church would be terribly against your getting married to this young man because he is not of your faith. So you have had to keep this relationship a secret.

You ran away from the rural area to get away from this guy, but now you are finding out that you are still deeply in love with him. My suggestion, therefore, is to pray and ask God to help you; and if it is his will to accept the teachings of your church, then let God's will be done.

I do not believe that you should hide how you feel about this young man. You are afraid that your church would put you under persecution because you are in love with this young man. A good church should not criticise members who are having problems; they should try and help them instead. The Church should not drive people away; they should encourage them to stay in the fold.


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