I don't believe in true love


November 19, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I am a young woman 18 years of age. Time after time I have been told that I am beautiful, smart and intelligent. I am also a Christian who is persecuted because of how I dress.

I like to wear pants and jewellery and my church doesn't believe in wearing such things. Nevertheless, I uphold the commandments of God and pray every day and seek to become a better person and Christian.

The problem that I am having is that I am puzzled about the whole idea of true love, romance and happy endings.

I have never had a boyfriend, never kissed anyone, so I know that physically I am immature but mentally I am not. I have read enough to have an understanding of life. I have always been focused on school, my dreams and aspirations, so I didn't have to indulge in such affairs.

But despite all those factors, I have yet to meet or see a guy who grabs my attention. The older I get, I am wondering if such feelings do exist or if it is all a myth.

I wonder if people still fall madly in love, where the guy treats the girl like a queen and respects her like one, and the girl treats the guy like a king and respects him like one.


What I see occurring around me is that persons are together for security, wealth, and power, and all they do is fight, argue and quarrel and claim it is love.

My family members and relatives are very biblical and most, if not all, are Christians. But lately, everyone has been preaching the message of marriage in my ears. But, Pastor, I don't and I can't see my future self getting married or in a relationship out of convenience.

I know my standards are high but I strongly believe that if you don't stand for something, then you will fall for every and anything.

I have to admit that no one is perfect, and neither am I, but any husband has to love God and me, plus, he has to be attractive.

But honestly, I think I am deluding myself because what I see people classify as love is when the guy abuses them, cheats on them, makes them feel less of a person and unimportant. If that is love I don't want it.


Dear A.D.,

I think you are a wonderful girl. And I want to assure you that true love might be hard to find, but love is not a myth.

People equate lust and love as the same, but they are not. Many people who thought they were in love were not in love. Love is patient. Love shows kindness. Love seeks the highest good of another person. Love does not make any demands. When a person loves another, the love grows and they have mutual respect for each other.

I have paraphrased what the Bible says love is. Love is not rude. Love doesn't force itself on another.

True love does exist, but you have not yet experienced it. Your time has not yet come. It will come. Don't lower your standards and don't allow relatives and friends to push you into any relationship you do not wish to be.

Concerning your church, don't be bothered by those who might condemn the way you dress. Modesty is what is important. Watch extremity. Extremity is what the Bible condemns.


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