He gave me 'bun' with my friend


August 27, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am 20 years old and I am living with my boyfriend. I was going through his phone and I came across a text from one of my friends telling him how she enjoyed the sex, and if he wants more of her he has to get rid of me.

When I asked him about it, he said that instead of questioning him, I should be glad to know that he did not push himself on the girl; it was she who pushed herself on him and he did not answer what she wrote.

He said it was just that the opportunity was there for him to have sex with her; that is why he did it. I was so angry, I took the frying pan and hit him.

He called me crazy, but before the evening was finished, we made up and had sex twice. It was the best sex we ever had.

I told him that I was wrong to search his phone. I don't want to have anything to do with this girl anymore because she betrayed me. We went to school together and we were in the same class.

We graduated together. I know her boyfriend and I would not go to bed with him. So why did she go to bed with my boyfriend? I am still upset about it.

He said he will not do it again, but this was not something planned. I asked him if he used the condom and he said yes because she had condoms in her bag.

She called me one day and asked me how she is not hearing from me again and I told her it is because of what I know. I did not continue the conversation.

She will see this letter and know that I am talking about her. I am not in any competition, but my boyfriend says that I give better sex than she does.


Dear D.T.,

It is never right for one to search someone's phone without his/her permission. But, putting that aside, this guy had his time with your friend and from the way he responded to you, he is not sorry for what he did.

I am glad that you did not get the opportunity to damage him with the frying pan. You could have knocked him out cold.

I don't think this guy has any respect for you at all. He talks to you as if he is very proud of what transpired between himself and the girl and it is something you should just accept.

Well, the way you behaved would cause him to think that way, because the very evening after both of you fought, you had sex with him.

He tried very hard to make you feel that you are the greatest woman in bed and that your girlfriend is weak in that area.

He promised that he wouldn't have sex with her again, but I wouldn't be surprised if he does because she seemed easy to get, and you don't know what lies he has been telling her about you and about the relationship in general.

You have not asked the girl about anything that happened. But, it might not be a bad idea to find out from her whether he told her that he likes her or what he told her about the relationship both of you are having in general.

Don't make yourself a fool. Don't stick around with a man who would disrespect and beat you up and then use sex to make up.

This guy is just having fun. He is not serious about the relationship, so decide what you are going to do about him.


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