Stepmother wants her name on my father's house title

Dear Pastor,

I am 18 years old, and I enjoy reading your column. I grew up with my father and grandmother, but my father had lots of women in his life, so I grew up with them, too. He has introduced me to many of his girlfriends. They would come and live with him for a few weeks and then leave. Some of them left because he said that what they wanted was his money. I heard my father curse a girl one day and tell her that she should go back to her mother and learn to cook because she was not ready to live with a man.

My father is a good cook. It is he who taught me how to cook. I don't know my mother much. She left me with my father when I was a baby. And at that time, my father was living with my grandmother. Nothing my father did could turn my grandmother's mind against him. He loves my grandmother, and he takes care of her. After my dad built a house, he tried to get grandma to come and live with him, but she said she wanted to stay where she was. So, he fixed up her house and made her comfortable. But, he told me that I am growing up, so he wants me out of that community. I am doing well in school.

My father got himself a woman from St James, and she is the best one I have seen him with. But, she doesn't like me. She always asks me what my father and I have to talk about so often. She thinks we are always talking about her. My father had some business papers, and she went into his drawer and searched through. Then, she said that I was the one who had gone in there. Then she asked him why he won't put her name on his title. He told her that the house is for me, and she said that if he loves the both of us, he should give the house to us both.

This woman has three children for three different men. My father told her that if they were his children, he would give them part of his property, but they are not his. Sometimes when my father is not at home, she goes out, but nobody knows where she goes. I don't like her because she doesn't like me.

B.L.

Dear B.L.

I am glad that you have a father who loves and supports you. Your mother abandoned you, but your father was determined to support you. Much credit must be given to him, and to your grandmother also. She has sacrificed time and money and has shown you that it is important to live an upright life. Your grandmother wants to live alone. She wants to stay where people know her. Some people are like that. They don't like to leave the environment in which they grew up. Make sure that you visit her often.

My dear, continue to show respect to your grandmother and to your father.

This woman who lives with him is not very smart. She is not an intelligent woman at all. Too many of these women are after men to get what they have. The house is not hers, and in fact, he told her that it was his intention to pass on that house to you. She should not be trying to convince him that her name should go on the title. She is a grown woman, but she ought to have respect for your father. She shouldn't be leaving the house without telling anyone at what time she is coming back, or where she is going. I am sure that your father is going to ask her to leave if she continues to behave that way.

As for you, I just want to encourage you to study hard and get yourself a profession. Aim to get a career and keep in touch with me.

Pastor