My wicked mom has me crying in my sleep


October 29, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I have a huge problem. I am 25 years old. My mom had me when she was 15 and I am the only girl. Growing up, she treated me badly. I don't know if it was because I didn't grow up with my father. However, my mom never worked, neither was she ever at home. I used to have to wash her man's clothes, and cook, clean, and care for my younger brothers.

When I was attending school and I asked her for bus fare and lunch money, her reply was 'vagina is not on price, and she is not going to swap shop.' Although I knew it was wrong, I took the dangerous risk and begged rides from strangers. Immediately after graduation, I got a job as a waitress. When I came from work in the evenings, my mom would steal all my money.


One morning when I was to pay my taxi fare, there was no money in my bag. I called her and asked about it and when I came home that evening I saw my suitcase with all my clothes outside. I asked my boyfriend to allow me live with him for a little while, and eventually I got pregnant. He was very abusive. I couldn't take the beating anymore, so I went back to live with my mom. After I moved out, he stopped supporting our kids.

I met a 45-year-old man and he would send me money weekly to buy groceries for my kids. One day, I overheard my mom telling my children's father about this man; where he is from, etc. This man offered me a trip and I asked my mom to keep my kids; she said no. So I begged my children's father to keep them for three weeks. When I was about to leave, my mom went to the Child Protection and Family Services Agency (CPFSA) and reported that my children's father was a child rapist. CPFSA then told me that they were going to do an investigation.

However, I got married to this guy and he took my kids and I to the USA, and my mom came on Facebook and wrote under my wedding photos that my ambition was lower than frog belly. Well, I stopped talking to her, even though I send her money monthly through the post office, because I know what it is like to feel the wrath of hunger.

My husband told me that I am crying in my sleep at nights, and he wants to meet my mom. I told him how my mom treated me. Well, we shopped for her because we are going home to visit. But for some weird reason, it doesn't feel right and I have been having nightmares of her biting me. Every time I stretch my hand out to her, she bites me. I don't want her to feel left out. I am asking for your advice. Thank you.


Dear T.R.,

From what you have said, your mother is indeed a very difficult woman to deal with. She behaves as if she is not proud of you. She did not treat you right, and she should not have been upset with you because you talked to her about your money she had taken.

I am glad that this man who took you abroad saw that you were a good woman and married you. And, I commend you for assisting your mother financially, in spite of what she did to you.

I hope you have a good trip to Jamaica. Give to your mother the gifts you have purchased for her. Don't be afraid of her at all. Don't be afraid of anybody, for that matter. Put all your concerns into God's hand. God will take care of you.


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