My brother was caught having sex with my wife


December 04, 2018

Dear Pastor,

I am having a problem. I am 40 years old. My wife is 32 years old. We have our fuss every now and then, but we don't quarrel in front of the children. We have our own home, and I have a piece of land in the country that I am planning to build on so that when I retire and the children are gone, we can move to the countryside and live. We would be able to rent out the house that we have in Kingston. It would have been fully paid for by that time.

The land I have in the country is quite big, so the plan is to build the house, raise some chickens and do a little farming.

Now, I don't know what to do because what my wife did is so embarrassing. Pastor, I have a brother who is living with his wife in the country. He has been very successful. You can say that he has money. I don't ask him for anything, but he and my wife are close.

She went to the country to spend time and got involved with my brother. This is not a 'hearsay thing', and nobody is telling a lie on her. It is my brother's wife who caught my brother lying down on my wife. Her dress was up to her neck and her panties on the ground.

I was here and the phone rang. It was my sister-in-law, with a very loud voice, telling me to come and get my wife out of her house because she is a worthless so-and-so (bad words). I asked to speak to my brother, but he refused to talk to me. Then my wife called and denied everything. My sister-in-law told me that my brother had gone to work. She went to work also, and my wife was left at the home. My brother came back, and his wife came in and caught them having sex.


It took two weeks for my brother to talk to me, and he denied everything and called his wife crazy. He said she is jealous of the type of relationship that he and my wife have and how we live good, so she is trying to break us up.

It does not make any sense to me. Why would my brother try to break up my family life? I didn't see this coming at all. My brother is seven years younger than I am.

My wife is denying everything. I told her all I want is the truth. Perhaps if I knew the truth, I will be able to deal with it better.


Dear T.L.,

Something is radically wrong with the relationship you are having with your wife. Perhaps you believe that she loves you, but it does not appear that way. Why would she get involved sexually with your brother? Could it be that she loves him much more than you? Does she feel that you are lacking in the area of lovemakinga and so is incapable of sexually satisfying her? Is it that she wants money, and you are not able to give her as much as she wants? Maybe your brother is in a position to do so, but she would have to agree to have sex with him.

Is this woman just grossly immoral and doesn't care what happens to her marriage and to your brother's marriage? Your brother says that nothing went on between himself and your wife, and that his wife is just crazy. You would be a fool to believe that your brother's wife is crazy. If she is crazy, she should be on some medication.

I am very sorry that your wife has let you down. I would suggest that both of you go to see a family counsellor to see whether this marriage could be saved or whether both of you should go your separate ways. Both of you need professional help, and I would urge that you take action immediately, because you would never be able to trust your wife anymore.


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