I refuse to have a black baby


May 06, 2016

Dear Pastor,

I have a serious problem, I believe. I am 25 and attracted to mature, ambitious men over 30 years old. I prefer them to be in the corporate or entrepreneurial field, freshly shaven, well dressed, athletic and with a cool, dark complexion. I would also like to have a child or two, preferably a son.

The biggest problem I have is that I would prefer not to have a child of dark complexion. The reason for this is that there is a racial and discriminatory battle going on, which has left a sour taste in my mouth.

I am not willing to let any child of mine go through that treatment if I can avoid it. I am dating a dark-skinned man. I believe he is serious about us and interested in having kids with me.

I don't discriminate because of race. I grew up with fair-complexioned people in my household. My mother is light-skinned and so are my brothers. I got my father's complexion. I'm fair-skinned, a mix between my mom and dad. Growing up, I suffered from self-esteem issues, which I don't wish to share.

Pastor, I am seriously considering doing in vitro fertilisation with someone of a fairer complexion while continuing to date my man. Outside of that, I may not have any children of my own.


Dear R.F.,

You find it convenient to be sexually and emotionally involved with a black-skinned man, but would never allow him to impregnate you because you do not want a child of dark complexion.

From you were growing up, you were brainwashed to believe that anything that is black is not good. That is what your people told you, so you have not been able to overcome that. I challenge you to tell me that is not so.

Only a woman who hates blacks would think of doing in vitro fertilisation with a light-skinned man while having an intimate relationship with a black-skinned man.

You have been lying to this man and have gotten him to believe you would love to have children with him. You are a liar and a deceiver. It would be wrong for me to tell you that you should not marry a man of light complexion. That is a choice you have a right to make.

However, what is wrong is to get involved with a dark-skinned man and to give him the impression that you love him but deep in your heart, you know you do not love him to the extent to allow him to get you pregnant because you are afraid the child could be of dark pigmentation.

Stop fooling yourself and stop fooling this man. Tell the man the truth and move on.

Oh, before I go, I believe you do not want to leave this man because you are getting some financial benefit from this relationship. I believe so.

Please, remember, too, that your father is of dark complexion so even if you were to marry a man of light complexion and he impregnates you, the possibility exists that the child could be of dark complexion.

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