Mow much cheating is too much?

Dear Pastor,

Why do you encourage persons to remain in a marriage where one of the partners cheat? Cheating is mental abuse and I don't think anyone should continue being in such toxic relationship, especially if there is continuous cheating. I know that marriage is sacred, but certain things should not be tolerated in relationships, like abuse. Marriage should be built on love and love does not hurt. Maybe this is the reason why some married men and women feel as if they can be unfaithful to their partners, because they feel as if they will always be forgiven and taken back.

There is nothing wrong with forgiving them, but sometimes people are better off alone. Sometimes persons who are married are not meant for each other and God is trying to separate them.

What do you think will happen to persons who worship different gods, like the Muslims, Jews, Hindus, etc, on Judgment Day? Most of the time the reason why persons believe in certain religion is because of the country in which they grew up. If as children they grew up hearing and learning different doctrines, they are likely to be a part of that religion, because they don't know any better and everyone is going to think that their religion is the right one.

J.B.

Dear J.B.,

First of all, I don't advocate for couples to separate from each other and to seek divorce until they have done their best to maintain their relationship by seeking professional help. If a man has cheated on his wife and he is penitent about it and asks his wife to forgive him, and she is willing to do so, it is wrong for me as a counsellor to encourage that woman to leave him.

There are times women have cheated on their husbands and it is known and people laugh at these men and call them fools, and sometimes the men with whom the women have had sex spread the news around about what and what he did to the wives of these men. But these women have come clean and have asked their men for forgiveness. Some men have forgiven their women. Nobody, therefore, should say to these men "you should not have forgiven your wives".

PRACTISE FORGIVENESS

Jesus says he that is without sin should cast the first stone. No one can be certain what will happen to him or her. How many times are we told in the Bible that we should forgive one another? Jesus says it is 70 times seven. I take the position that I should encourage people to learn to live together and not be quick to tell men or women to move on. Yes, they are occasions that I have said to individuals "move on". But that is when the spouse is wilful and he or she doesn't care; but as a counsellor, I should do everything in my power to encourage a spouse to stay together, especially when they have children and they are penitent. You don't have to agree with me, but that is where I stand.

Concerning the faith that people have embraced because of their upbringing, you are quite correct. There is no argument there. However, I believe that the Bible teaches that no one will inherit the Kingdom of God unless he/she comes to know Christ as Saviour and Lord. And it does not matter what is his/her religion. And the Bible says even people who have never heard the gospel are without excuse because the heavens declare the Glory of God. Roman 1:20, "For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualitieshis eternal power and divine naturehave been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse."

Pastor